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The release of ‘Bend Over Boyfriend’ by Dr. Carol Queen and the gang at Good Vibrations in 1998, seems to have sparked a strap-on phenomenon between heterosexual couples. With sales of strap-ons leading the way in the sex toy market, it’s clear that strap-on sex is quietly being embraced by our society. But where does the love of strapping on a dildo come from? Is it a newly discovered sexual pleasure?

1. Throughout the ages there are signs and clues left behind of dildos being used to worship fertility gods, in rituals, for sex and were even used as baby mobiles in ancient Greece. Did anyone ever think to strap on one of these dildos? As with most of humanity’s sexual history, the advent of strap-on sex is hidden within a few precious artifacts, ancient mythology, writing, and even paintings.

2. The oldest known relic that’s believed to be a strap-on is from the Upper Paleolithic Period; c10,000 bc.

Amongst the many artifacts that appear to be dildos, a double ‘baton’ has been discovered with a hole in the middle. Archeologists theorize that this hole is for a strap to hold it to the wearer. There’s also a Japanese wooden strap-on dildo that’s been discovered.

3. Archeologists have also found an oriental double ended dildo carved from jade dates that dates back to the 10th – 13th century. Being made from Jade, it’s clear that this was once a prized procession of the owner.

4.Ancient Egyptian mythology also gives a glimpse of strap-on pleasure with their belief that the ebb of flow of the Nile River was caused by Atum’s (the god of creation) ejaculation. This sparked the ritualistic ejaculation of Pharaoh into the Nile River. The strength of the rain was thought to correlate to the strength of the pharaoh’s ejaculation. It’s believed that to ensure an abundance of rain, the pharaoh’s wife would massage his prostate with a phallus while he sat on her lap and masturbated.

5. Clues of strap-on use are also found in murals decorating the walls of long forgotten brothels and bathhouses. In the Suburban Baths at Pompeii Italy, a mural has been unearthed which depicts a threesome with male anal penetration. Another mural at Pompeii that’s especially exciting, shoa woman penetrating another woman as well as males with a strap-on according to Roman Scholar John Clarke. These murals seem to prove that sexual exploration as well as strap-on sex was embraced and celebrated in ancient Italy. It’s no wonder the bathhouse were such a popular place.

6. Another ancient painting, from Athens and housed the Corinth Archaeological Museum, portrays a female figure dancing, while wearing a strap-on dildo and a tail, before a seated Dionysus.

It’s believed that most ancient Greeks and Romans regarded women who took upon themselves the role of penetrating as having oversized clitorises to please their lover with. Roman mythology is also full of gender bending tales. Such as Hermaphroditus the son of Hermes (Roman Mercury) and Aphrodite (Venus) which is described as being both male and female. Also, Macrobius describes a masculine form of “Venus” (Aphrodite) who has a beard and male genitals, but wore women’s clothing. Belief in this mythology survived through Greek and Roman cultures as seen is sculptures of Aphroditos, a female figure who pulls up her woman’s clothing to reveal male gentiles.

Not only through artifacts and art, strap-on sex is also found within many ancient writings. Such as in the poetry of Herodas, a 3rd century bc Greek poet. Found on recycled papyrus that was used to wrap mummies one of Herodas’ Mimes describes women going to a cobbler for dildos that were carefully stitched from scarlet leather and are described as being very soft, ‘like the real thing’. He makes mention of straps but doesn’t expand on their purpose.

In the writings of Seneca the Elder’s Controversiae, a Roman writer, refers to lesbians as Tribades who use strap-on dildos. Likewise, Seneca the Younger, a Roman philosopher makes mention in Epistle Morales ad Lucilium of women penetrating men. Strap-on sex is also talked about in the Secret History of Prociopius; where Theodra, wife of the Emperor Justinian, is depicted as penetrating the ‘hinder parts’ of her male lovers.

7. Hibreas, a Roman Orator, is thought to have once said of Tribades, ‘I first examined the male to know if it was natural or stitched on’. Likewise, Marcus Valerius Martialis, a Latin poet, portrays Flinene Pedica as a Tribate who sodomizes the boys more heated than a husband and ‘fucks eleven girls or Boys in a single day’.

Also, in Affairs of the Heart by a Latin satirist, a direct reference to strap-on dildos is made.

“Therefore, if even men like you, Callicratidas, can find satisfaction in women, let us males fence ourselves off from each other; but, if males find intercourse with males acceptable, henceforth let women too love each other. Come now, epoch of the future, legislator of strange pleasures, devise fresh paths for male lusts, but bestow the same privilege upon women, and let them have intercourse with each other just as men do. Let them strap to themselves cunningly contrived instruments of lechery, those mysterious monstrosities devoid of seed, and let woman lie with woman as does a man. Let wanton tribadism — that word seldom heard, which I feel ashamed even to utter — freely parade itself, and let our women’s chambers emulate Philaenis, disgracing themselves with Sapphic amours.

And how much better that a woman should invade the provinces of male wantonness than that the nobility of the male sex should become effeminate and the male play the part of a woman, as a woman can strap to themself these instruments and do a male as a male!”

If that isn’t enough to paint a picture of what strap-on sex might have looked like in ancient times, we find even more examples. Such as in the writings of Hipponax, a 5th century Greek poet who describes a female using a strap-on on a Greek male. Also a tale vivid tale of strap-on sex is found papyrus which was recycled to wrap a mummy was recovered at Oxrhynchus in Egypt.

In Lydian tone she said, “Come hither, I will plug up your tight asshole.” And she beat my egg sack with a sprig of lilac as if I were a satyr. I fell backwards, breathing heavy…”

8. A very similar passage occurs in the Satyricon of Petronius, which describes the sexual pleasures of the Emperor Nero Oenothea brought out a leathern dildo which, when she had smeared it with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed, she commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction; finally mixing nasturtium juice with elixir of southern wood, she gave my penis a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she commenced to strike me gently all over my penis and belly below the navel.

A tale of female dominance is found within the ancient writing of Inanna and Ebih. Not only is a story of the goddess dominating Elbih recorded, but there are also descriptions of elaborate cross dressing transformation rituals.

 9. It’s also found that strap-ons were seen in ancient Greek Theater where male only casts would wear gigantic phallus attached to their waists in satyr-plays.

No matter how obscure the history of strap-on sex remains, one thing’s clear; strapping on a dildo isn’t anything new. It’s been enjoyed by both female and male lovers alike throughout the ages. From the brothels of Pompeii to the hidden sex chambers of Rome, sexual exploration has historically been embraced by celebrated. Given the popularity of ancient dildos and the acceptance of male anal pleasure, it isn’t a far leap to conclude that strap-ons have played a role in sexual enjoyment throughout all history.

When it comes to anal play, there’s a lot of information about toys that are fun to use. Unfortunately, there isn’t much about what not to use. Inspired by Ducky Doolittle’s Tantus 2.0 class, I thought this was an important subject to cover and wanted to share some thoughts about safe anal stimulation with you.

Tantus Plugs Many toys look perfect for anal play; however there are many aspects to consider when choosing toys for anal stimulation. Choosing the right toy is important for anal stimulation and can often times be the difference between a fun and erotic experience and a bad one.

One of the most common toys used by beginners is anal beads. Although these are inexpensive and look like fun, they are not the best choice. Anal beads tend to be simply round balls on a string and there can be a few risks involved using them. For instance, the string can come untied, leaving a bead inside of you. Also, after being used, the string can’t be properly cleaned and will harbor bacteria. Also, because anal beads are just that beads which can be a bit painful when inserted and removed. Because they are blunt rather than tapered, they force the sphincter muscles to open suddenly. Often times, this can cause pressure, discomfort or even a slight pain when they are removed.

A much better choice that gives the same sensations as anal beads is the Ripple. Designed by Tantus, it is made from pure silicon and the beads are elliptical. Being made from silicone the Ripple is just like your silicone cookware and can be completely sterilized after you play. Also, the beads are elliptical. This allows the beads to gently open your sphincter muscle and then it closes around the neck between each bead. Because the neck has a bit of girth to it, your muscles don’t clamp down and tight once the bead is in allowing your muscles to stay slightly open and ready for the next bead to be slipped it. With this type of toy, you can choose to insert a couple beads or all of them. They even offer a small and large version of the Ripple for both new and experienced users.

Another mistake that’s often made when choosing a toy for anal play that has a blunt head. Although some may appear to be perfect for prostate massage, toys designed like this can cause a vacuum inside your rectum causing pain or injury when it’s removed. A much better choice is toys that have a tapered head. Not only are they easier to insert, the difference in diameter doesn’t create suction while you’re playing. There are some toys such as the Prostate Health Vibrator, by Tantus, that appears to have a flat head, however there is a slope along the edges that makes it totally safe for anal play. A close inspection of your will reveal whether it’s a true flat surface or not. If you can’t tell from the image you’re looking at online while you shop, Google the toy and search images to get a clear view of the toy you are considering.

When using a toy, be sure that it doesn’t have sharp edges or seams. Some toys have seams that are left behind from manufacturing and are not smoothed down properly. While this doesn’t pose a huge risk when used vaginally, they can damage the thin lining of your rectum by tearing or scratching mucus membrane.

Always make sure that the toy you are using for anal penetration has a flared base. The rectum will suck a toy in while you are playing. Don’t believe me? Slide your finger in and notice how the sphincter draws it into further, the same thing happens with your toy. Toys without a flared base pose the risk of being sucked in all the way making removal next to impossible. A flared base stops at the outer sphincter and acts like a stopper.

Another thing to consider when choosing an anal toy is the material that they are made out of. Some toys are made from PVC, rubber or even jelly. While they may be inexpensive, they pose a few risks. Toys made from material such as these have moving molecules inside of them and the chemicals seep out through the pores. This is why some toys will have a strong odor when you open their box. Many times, people’s sensitive tissue has a chemical reaction to them causing a burning sensation and even chemical burns. I always suggest choosing silicone for all of your anal pleasure. Silicone is non-porous and doesn’t have moving molecules. They have neither smell nor taste, are completely body safe, and bacteria can’t hide and grow in them. Also, silicone is easy to clean up. It can be washed with dawn dish soap, boiled or even placed on the top rack of your dishwasher to be cleaned. However, when washing your toys in the dishwasher, don’t use detergent because it can leave behind a light film causing you to have an adverse reaction. If you adore the texture or feeling of jelly toys, I suggest placing a condom over your toy before using it anally. A condom will protect you from the chemicals and will protect your toy from getting bacteria down into its pores.

Please, never use household items inside of you. In the heat of the moment it may seem like a good idea. However, they are simply not safe. Tubes of tooth paste, shaving cream cans, the handle of a brush, bottles, or anything else you might find lying around truly can harm your body for various reasons. Sharp edges, lack of a proper base, creating suction and other issues can occur.

Hubby and I both want you to be safe while you explore the pleasures of anal stimulation. A trip to the emergency room is something that we deeply desire for you to never have to experience. Choosing toys that are safe is the most important thing you can do to avoid this. Although many toys are marketed for anal play, they’re simply not safe. Please if you ever have a question about a toy, reach out to us or another trusted source to help you decided if it’s safe. There are many sex toy stores online that have a wealth of information to help you make an informed decision and even more sex toy reviewers and educators on Twitter that are always happy to help with any question you may have. Of course, I realize that it may be embarrassing to tweet about sex toys. The DM messaging system is a great way to avoid this or simply search for sex educators online and send them an email through their site’s system. I know that, like me, they’re always happy to help and answer any questions that you may have.

https://www.tryfm.com/sex-toy-for-women/anal-toys

I’ll never forget the first time Hubby and I were intimate. He was amazing, but that’s not what stuck in my memory for years after; it was what he said.

While giving him fellatio, my tongue found its way near his anus, the next thing I knew he was whispering “oh yes, please” and he asked me to put my finger inside of him. I was freaked out, to say the least. I never did as he asked and for years after that night I avoided that area of his body at all costs.

After I began to loosen up sexually I started to realize the value that there is in self sexual exploration. Learning how our bodies react to various types of stimulation is an important part of discovering our sexuality. Looking back on it now, I’m happy that Hubby explored his own body and figured out what he like and how he liked it long before we started our journey into pegging and prostate massage.

That’s right, not only for women, men can also benefit greatly from self exploration and masturbation. It’s common for men to masturbate as young teens and throughout their lives. However that’s not the only area that can be explored. The prostate is a highly erogenous zone that deserves exploring also. All too often, there are perceived stigmas that accompany any type of male anal exploration. It’s unfortunate that with all the scientific information showing the benefits and enjoyment of prostate massage, that anal exploration is still thought of as something only experienced between two men. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Exploring yourself before introducing this type of stimulation to your partner can help to ease these perceptions. Also it has other benefits. Suck as, becoming comfortable with your body and overcoming any awkwardness that you may feel.

Hubby discovered his prostate as a young teen and has enjoyed self stimulation for many years before I opened up to anal play. Here’s his advice to those who are new to male anal sex.

anal sex inage

~Become acquainted with your body~

Hubby suggests taking time to become acquainted with your body in a relaxed environment during a time when you know there won’t be any interruptions. It’s always nice to start off by jumping in the shower or taking a warm bath first. Not only for hygiene purposes, the warm water also helps relax your body. In your private area lock the door and dim the lights to create a relaxed and safe environment; try turning on the radio. Stretch out on the bed and find a comfortable position. Pillows can be help support your body or placed underneath you knees to help make access to your anal area easier.

Once you’re comfortable, take some deep breaths. Deep breathing is an important part of relaxing your mind and body; it even helps relax your anal sphincter. Take your time, there’s no rush. After you’re relaxed, begin by gently massaging your butt. Start off at the top of your cheeks and slowly work your way down. If you have a hand held mirror, try using it to watch your anus during this process. This will help you become familiar with how your body reacts to to the stimulation. You’ll notice your anus relaxing and loosing up as you massage. Stretch your cheeks apart as you massage to help the outer sphincter relax even more. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. The goal is to relax and become acquainted with how your body reacts to being touched.

After you feel comfortable, move on to massaging directly around and on your anus. Take your time and enjoy these sensations. Don’t feel like you have to move quickly. In one session it’s completely acceptable to stop at this point, there’s no rule that says you have to move any further.

*Hint* Try using a bit of lube to help your fingers glide over and around your anus and perineum area.

~Exploring penetration~

When exploring penetration for the first time, it’s always best to start out with your finger. Wearing a glove will make insertion smoother and aid in cleanliness. Another key to ensuring that your experience is enjoyable is using lots of lube. Water based lubricant is usually the best choice and Hubby swears by Liquid Silk.

Warm yourself up by massaging your anus; don’t forget to take deep breaths. Deep breathing truly helps to relax both the external and internal sphincters. When you’re ready, slowly slip in one finger. Notice how your muscles contract both externally and internally. Hubby suggests sitting for a few moments while breathing deep, taking time to relax before moving on. At any time, if your exploration hurts, stop immediately. Nothing about this process should be painful; however, a slight burning sensation is normal.

When you’re comfortable, begin to slowly move your finger in and out. You can experiment with moving your finger around in circles, inserting it deep, or even reaching around to find your p-spot. As you relax, you may want to try slowly inserting another finger. Take your time and help your sphincter muscles relax. Relaxing is a key to having a truly pleasurable experience.

~Using Toys~

As you explore your prostate and anal sex, you may want to try using toys. When choosing a toy, there are a few things to take into consideration. First and foremost, be sure that your toy has a flared base to keep it from slipping up into your rectum. Also, to help your toy stay in while you play, be sure that it has a long tapered neck. Necks that are to short tend to pop out while you play.

The number one toy that I suggest for beginners is the Small Silk by Tantus. Its two finger size and slender slope is ideal for anal virgins. Made from pure silicone, it’s easy to sterilize making it safe for anal play. However it’s not made to stay in by its self while you play.

Butt plugs are designed to say in while you play. They keep the sphincter open and can be very useful as a warming up tool for pegging play latter. Hubby adores his B.S. is Nice Capsule; from ThatPositon. It works great to warm him up, gives him a full feeling during sex and also works well to hit his prostate.

Prostate Massagers are designed to apply stimulation directly to the prostate gland with their curved shaft. The often come as vibrators for added p-spot stimulation. Rocks-Off has Hubby’s favorite; Cheeky-Boy. With a bulberouse shaft and a perineum massage built in along with it’s perfect shape; this toy gets a lot of use at our house.

~Hubby’s Last Thoughts~

Hubby’s #1 piece of advice is to go slow and enjoy yourself. When starting out and warming up, what Hubby enjoys the most is having a finger or small toy sitting shallow inside of him as he does kegeal grips; the tightening sensation around something is highly stimulating.

Use lots of lube. There is never such a thing as too much lube. Massaging around your anus, paying close attention to the lower area of your anal rim, will help to relax your external sphincter and reduce the stretching feeling.

Choose the right position for you. Some positions feel better than others; Hubby suggests trying with one leg propped up on a pillow or rolled over on your left side. There is no wrong or right position. Trying different angles can make things a lot more pleasurable.

There shouldn’t be any stigma associated with exploring your prostate or anal sex. Lots of women enjoy anal sex, why shouldn’t men too. Their bodies are wired the same. Very similar to the female G-spot the prostate and anus are highly erogenous zones. Filled with nerves, stimulation is not only enjoyable it can produce an orgasm unlike anything you’ve experience before. It’s true, I promise.

Exploring your body alone or with your lover, it’s common to feel nervous the first few times. Creating the proper environment and starting out with other types of stimulation will help you relax and go with the flow of the enjoyment. If you’re experimenting with a partner, anal rimming during oral sex is always a great way to warm things up.

Hubby and I both wish you the best of luck on your journey. We hope that you will take time to explore your body and become comfortable with your sexuality. Most of all, enjoy yourself. Remember there is no wrong or right way to enjoy any type of kinky pleasure.

The sexual act of anal penetration is generally misunderstood. Despite the fact that one out of every four women has engaged in anal intercourse, the practice remains taboo.

Many women are nervous to try anal sex because of the many myths and misconceptions surrounding the practice. Let’s take a look at these myths and uncover the truth.

Myth #1 Anal Sex is Only for Homosexuals

That’s absolutely not true. Simply another option for sexual gratification, many heterosexual couples enjoy anal sex on a regular basis. In fact, anal sex has nothing at all to do with sexual identity. A recent study found that 44% of straight men under 50 have had anal sex at least once in their lives.

Myth #2 Anal Sex is Unnatural

Considering that even today many states still have sodomy laws on record, it’s no wonder that anal sex is seen as unnatural. However most of these laws were pushed forward by mainstream religion. Anal sex has been around for centuries and is viewed as acceptable in many cultures. For instance, at the famous Khajurao temples there are beautiful sculptures depicting anal pleasures. In other cultures, women engage in anal sex for pleasure while protecting their virginity for future marriage.

Ultimately, you must decide for yourself what is or isn’t natural. If you’re uncomfortable with any sexual act, don’t do it! You are in charge of what you do sexually.

Myth #3 Anal Sex is Dirty

Early in our childhood we are taught that the anus is dirty and shouldn’t be touch. However with daily hygiene, the anus is as clean as other parts of your body. However, like other parts of the body, the anus contains bacteria. With a little bit of care while playing and good common sense there’s nothing to be concerned about. However, there are a few precautions which you can take to make sure everything is clean while you play; such as, using a condom or an anal douche.

Myth #4 Anal Sex is Painful

If anal sex causes these issues you are doing it wrong. The key to pleasurable anal sex is relaxation and lots of lubrication. Relaxing your external sphincter will make anal penetration easier and more pleasurable; a slight pressure as you relax is common. Also, because the anus doesn’t create natural lubrication, use lots of water based lube to make things more pleasurable. If you learn the proper techniques before you begin experimenting, you may find anal sex enjoyable.

Myth #5 Anal Sex can be Harmful

According to Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, author of “What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex,” anal sex doesn’t cause hemorrhoids, fissures or even tears; under normal circumstances. However, using lube to reduce friction is a must. Also, contrary to popular belief, semen or sperm isn’t harmful to your rectum either.

Others believe that anal sex will make their anus loose leading to inconstancy later in life; untrue. Learning to control the sphincter is helpful not only for anal sex but also when having a bowl movement.

Myth #6 Women Don’t Like It

It’s a common thought that anal sex is only enjoyable for men. Anal sex does take a learning curve; a few times of trying to adjust the angle of penetration, relaxing and speed of thrusting to figure out what you like. Also during the first few moments of penetration, it’s common to feel some pressure. This slight discomfort is well worth the orgasm that often follows.

The anus is full of nerve receptors that also feed the G-spot. Many women report being able to experience a G-spot orgasm, or even a full pelvic orgasm, from anal sex alone.

Myth #7 There’s No Difference Between the Anal Sex and PIV Sex

Thinking that anal sex feels the same as PIV sex for your partner is a misconception. I asked Hubby if it feels different and he said, “Oh, yes.” He described my vagina as being stretchy and full of folds that give varying friction depending on where he’s at inside of me. My rectum, on the other hand, he described as feeling deep, long and velvety smooth; a complete sensation all its own.

Myth #8 I’m Way Too Small

The rectum is a tube which collapses and stretches to accommodate what’s inside of it; it’s not a stretchy pouch like the vagina. Think about the size of your large poop, compared to that I’m sure that your anus will easily stretch enough to accommodate your fellow.

Myth #9 Anal Sex Causes Aids or STD’s

This is absolutely wrong. If both partners are STD free, it’s impossible to contract AIDS. If this is your fear, please educate yourself about the source of AIDS and other STD’s.

When it comes to anal sex, education is your friend. Learning about the different techniques, tips and tricks can be the difference between loving it and hating it. Try to open yourself up to trying new things and take it slow. I’m sure that you’ll find anal sex isn’t as bad as you thought.

Wiki-anal oral sex google imageIf you’re apprehensive about anal sex; you’re not alone. Thousands of women are nervous about trying it. Even more have vowed to never try it again after a bad experience.

Often times, anal sex is thought of as dirty, painful or awkward at the best. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Anal sex can be a highly erotic sexual pleasure with the right approach.

Hygiene

Hygiene is a simple fix. If you have normal firmed bowel movements simply washing with close attention to your bottom should do the trick. For a better cleaning anal douching is an effective choice; visit my article for more about anal douching. Another option is having your partner wear a condom during anal sex. With a condom, clean up is easy in case of an accident.

Warming Up

The number one thing to help you get in the mood for anal sex is warming up your bottom. A sensual booty massage is a great way to help get your bottom relaxed and longing for more attention. Butt plugs are also a dandy little tool. Even the smallest of plug’s work great to relax your anal entrance and reduce the cringe of penetration latter.

To warm things up even more, there are a few intimate tricks that work wonders too. Such as, try using a small vibrator or even a finger to stimulate the tight little hole. Even more erotic is anilingus or anal rimming. During oral sex, visiting down bellow with the tongue and everywhere in-between is a sure way to get ready for more play. Even having a vaginal orgasm before anal sex will make things easier for back door play.

The nitty gritty of anal sex.

The first rule of anal penetration is lube, lube and more lube.

With a generous dab of lube on your little hole and his rod well lubed up, it will slip in easier and smoother. Go slow and have him stop once he’s just a bit inside of you. Breathe and try to relax your muscles; don’t let him move yet.

After a few moments, have him pull back out and re-lube up your bottom and his rod.

Going back in will be a bit easier this time.

However, once again only allow him to go in a little ways and stop. Think about relaxing and take some deep breaths. When you feel comfortable begin to move your hips and enjoy the feeling of him inside of you. After your at ease, allow him to take control and have fun.

Be sure to keep the lube close at hand and have him reapply when needed.

Add extra spice to your anal sex with a clitoral vibe or by using a toy vaginally.

Being intimate in new ways is always a rocky road. Although it may be awkward, exploring new things adds a new dimension to your intimacy and is well worth the journey.

For me personally, I’ve embraced ‘Greek Love’ and enjoy it as much, if not more, than vaginal sex alone. Anal orgasms are some of the best I’ve ever experienced.

I hope these tips help you feel more comfortable and open up to new delights. You never know where the journey may take you.

In this day and age of sexual acceptance Anal Sex still remains a taboo sexual act. Although many couples thoroughly enjoy it, you don’t find many women willing to admit it. More times than not, when someone mentions Anal Sex it brings to mind gay or bisexual men, rather than something enjoyable between heterosexual couples. Yet, the truth is that more and more women are engaging in Anal Sex and loving it.

When I reveal my secret pleasure to other women, the response is generally the same, “How can you enjoy that?” and “Doesn’t it hurt?” My answer never changes, “It only hurts for a moment, but the pleasure is well worth a little cringe.”

Hubby and I have been enjoying Anal Sex regularly for a few years now. After I learned to relax and breathe when he enters my rear, I become rather addicted to it. Although I absolutely love the sensations when I feel him deep inside of me, I’ve never experienced a true anal orgasm. That is, until the other night.

That’s right, an anal orgasm isn’t just for men; women can enjoy them too.

As we all know, everyone’s body is different and experience pleasures uniquely. Yet for most women, the anus is very active during a PIV (penis in vagina) orgasm, you just might not know it. During an orgasm the sphincter muscles are clenching and relaxing, those contractions stimulate the sensitive nerve endings in both the vagina and anus and often times make your orgasm even better.

How can this be, you ask? The anus is flooded with nerve endings most of which move through the Pudendal Nerve, which is the same nerve that serves the clitoris. Further inside of the rectum, stimulation will be picked up by the same nerves that responds to stimulation of the inner vagina the cervix; the Pelvic Nerve. Stimulating these nerves can cause a deep and throbbing sensation inside both the vagina and anus. With many tiny branches of these nerves surrounding and connecting to the anus, it’s easy to see why Anal Sex is enjoyable.

If you haven’t experience an anal orgasm, extra stimulation is an excellent way to help you achieve one. While having Anal Sex, all of your erogenous zones are exposed and easy to access. Try stimulating your clit or even using a vibrator inside your vagina, since all of the nerves are connected it should help to send you into bliss. You can even enlist the help of your lover to help provide extra stimulation.

While having Anal Sex the nerves will fire and its muscles will contract acting like the vagina. However, the rectum isn’t self lubricating. Therefore, extra lubrication is needed while having Anal Sex for things to be more enjoyable.

Explore, be safe and have fun. I’m sure you’ll find yourself loving anal orgasms as much as me.

What do we know?

The G-spot was named after Ernst Grafenberg. A medical doctor and scientist known for developing the IUD. He was also well known on his studies for the urethra’s role during orgasm. Grafenberg was a gynecologist in Berlin up until Nazi Germany took over. As Grafenberg was Jewish; he was arrested in 1937 and forced to leave his practice. He wasn’t freed until 1940. Then he moved to New York City to continue practicing medicine.

A Dutch doctor, Reginer de Graaf, was the first to talk about female ejaculation and refer to “an erogenous zone in the vagina” that he linked to being similar to the male prostrate. The “zone” wasn’t reported until Grafenberg and the term G-spot was later used to describe this zone.

The G-spot is said to be the bean-shaped area inside the vagina. Typically, found one to three inches inside along the frontal wall, lining with the urethra and bladder. Some believe that the G-spot is an extension to the clitoris. However, there is no evidence to prove one way or the other.

How can I find mine?

If you haven’t found yours, but have been trying to; chances are you are trying to hard. It’s not hard to find. It’s hard to stimulate.

    • Squat on the ground so you can easily insert your fingers.
    • Face your palm upright
    • Dig around
    • Do you feel a patch of skin that feels different from the rest on the frontal wall?

That is your G-spot!! Really and truly, that is your G-spot! As I said, it’s not hard to find. It’s hard to stimulate.

How do I stimulate mine to have vaginal orgasms?

No two vaginas are alike. So, I might be able to rub lightly with my fingers to orgasm, but you might have to have firm, direct stimulation to orgasm. Have fun with this experience. Don’t get frustrated because if you can’t relax; orgasms aren’t going to be easy. It’s a learning experience that takes time.

I recommend getting a reliable G-spot vibrator or dildo. If you don’t like the idea or inserting dildos or vibrators inside you; fingers can work. However, expect hand cramps and frustration. Dildos and vibrators are there as an aid to help masturbation and orgasms. They will improve your sex life! You will want to focus the object on the G-spot. Move it around until you find that spot. Trust me; you’ll know it when you touch it. Just like the spot on your clit.

Remember: the vibrator was originally invented because doctors were treating hysteria with orgasms manually, but needed a faster method.

When I masturbate solely with my fingers, it takes me a good 45 minutes to achieve orgasm. When I use a toy, depending on the toy, it can take less than 10 minutes. Trust me, if you want to orgasm; you want a sex toy!

When first starting out with G-spot stimulation, my favorite item was the Sasha Grey Swell wand. Not curved. Very light wavy texture. And inexpensive. I did find I had to angle the dildo upright just slightly, but it was the first time I was able to stimulate my G-spot with a toy.

I really want to Squirt. Can I learn how?

Squirting is something that takes time! I didn’t learn to squirt until after learning to stimulate my g-spot so well that it happened on accident. However, most women can’t orgasm without clitoral stimulation. If you can’t orgasm with just vaginal stimulation; combine it with clitoral stimulation. Don’t worry about achieving ejaculation. When it happened to me, I wasn’t trying for it or expecting it to happen at all. Don’t expect it to happen at all and/or every time. Ejaculation is something that not all women experience. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you or your partner. It just means you haven’t achieved ejaculation. Give yourself time! Relax and stop stressing over it. Otherwise you will never get there.

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By beckandherkinks url:https://beckandherkinks.com/2013/05/06/may-is-masturbation-month-where-is-my-g-spot/

Question:Looking for advise for an anal beginner. What are the best toys to start with?

Reply1:It is best to start your fingers, and work your way up to toys, First invest in a good lube, Have fun.Start with your fingers like Two Grand said, then work up to toys that are the same size/length of your fingers

Reply2:Warm up with a finger (with nicely trimmed nail) accompanied by plenty of lube, then proceed to use a silicone plug like the Mood Naughty in size medium or large. The Mood Naughty’s long and narrow neck helps the plug stay snugly in place and prevents unwanted slippage.

Reply3:Start slow, small, and slippery! Don’t let your eyes be “bigger” than your butthole, start small and work your way up in size…don’t go too big too fast or you’ll not want to try it again. Oh yeah…LUBE, don’t forget the LUBE!!

Oh man, I didn’t do ANY of that with my first time of anal.
We just kind of tried it. We had lube, which was good. It was a little painful, but mostly pleasurable.

Okay, so let’s say you and your husband are into anal play, and you want to take it a step further. You are both comfortable with the idea of anal sex, but you feel like you need some pointers to help you get started.

“Here are some things to keep in mind when you are ready to try anal sex:”

— Amy Barbour

Anal sex is easily achieved by some couples, but a little harder for others. It can be difficult to learn to accommodate your husband’s penis. Most women need to start out with something smaller and work their way up to it.

Use copious amounts of lube. I cannot stress this enough. While the vagina self-lubricates, the same cannot be said of the anus. It will be in your best interest to put lube on both places (your anus and the object being inserted). In fact, if your husband is down there with his fingers or a plug, just tell him to keep the bottle of lube with him!
Start out with your husband’s finger. Seriously. He can easily use a finger cot or glove if he wants. If you like the feelings you get from his finger, then that is a good indication that you may be ready for a little more. If his finger is uncomfortable to you or feels strange when inserted, then you may ultimately not like anal sex. You may be on this stage for one night or several months before you are ready to move on to anything else.
Move up to a small anal plug. Anal plugs come in so many sizes now and are relatively inexpensive. You and your husband can even pick one out online discreetly to avoid potential embarrassment of physically going to the toy store (although I think that’s part of the fun!) You can also try having your husband try and insert two fingers at this point. The goal here is to get your anus used to something slightly larger fitting in there. Again, some of you may have absolutely no problem with this stage either, or it may feel kind of foreign to you. Make sure that you experience having an orgasm while trying this, so you’ll know what you are getting yourself into! (Remember to use tons of lube!)When you feel you are ready to try full-blown anal sex, then start slowly. You may be surprised at the difference in size between an anal plug and your husband’s erect penis. I will tell you that getting the head in is the biggest hurdle, and after that it’s easier. Just go slowly and start out with very shallow mini-thrusts. By that, I mean to just barely thrust enough to get most of the head in. When you feel like you are able to take more in, then take it a little further. Remember to add more lube each time you take in another inch. Make sure you are in a comfortable position. Some positions are tighter for anal sex and other positions are more relaxed and may work better for you. So if you aren’t able to achieve penetration in one position, it’s possible that another may work for you. Here are some good positions we have that work for anal sex:Rear Entry
Standing T
Doggie Variation
The Screw
Recovery Position

If it feels uncomfortable to you, stop. Do not force it if it hurts. You could potentially damage yourself.
I encourage you to take it slowly, and don’t get upset if it doesn’t work immediately. Some things take time, patience, and practice. Once you have it down, try adding a vibe to your clitoris at the same time! Many women who like anal sex, also like experiencing double penetration as well, so that may be something worth looking into.

If you and your husband are interested in anal sex, then you’ll also need to decide on going bareback or wearing a condom. The use of a condom is cleaner, and you can always remove the condom for regular vaginal intercourse afterwards. If you decide to go without one, just remember that you should never re-insert his penis (or finger) into your vagina after it has been in your anus. That is a sure fire way to spread bacteria and get an infection.

So talk to your spouse about your expectations and/or concerns. Make sure that you are both comfortable with whatever decisions are made. You may try this only to find that one or both of you don’t like it. If that’s the case, then there are hundreds of other ideas and positions to try. Pray about it, take it slow, and HAVE FUN!