I didn’t care for the original name I came up with for this page (Toys 101, creative huh?) so I changed it.  I kind of like this but let it be known that it’s just a cute name.  This is no official document.  It’s just a collection of information that I think every sex toy enthusiast should know.  I’m not an expert by any means and while I may have a misanthropic steak about me that doesn’t mean I want people getting sick from their sex toys.  I believe we should respect our bodies and be discerning about the toys we play with.  And as toxic as some sex toys can be, maybe they should come with anMSDS.

So, I’ll mix it up a little between the facts that are generally accepted out there in sex toy land but I’ll also throw in my opinion here and there. It’s my blog. I can do that, right? I just don’t want to steer anyone in the wrong direction. I want you all to know what you need to, to make good decisions.

This page will always be a work in progress. I will start with what I already know. As I learn more or, find out I’m wrong about something, I’ll update it. When I don’t know enough about something, I’ll refer to someone who does. So, let’s get started.

At the very top of the list of criteria you use to choose a sex toy, the first one ought to be, material. The material the toy is made of dictates everything about how you can safely use it and how you care for and clean it. I’ll start with what I believe are the best choices:

Stainless Steel
Hard Plastic

I list these materials at the top because of their safety, durability, and hygienic properties. These four materials are all nonporous and phthalates free. You want a toy to be nonporous because that means you can sterilize it. There are no microscopic holes in the material for bacteria to accumulate in and grow. This means that toys made of these materials can be safely shared, if sterilized between users, and the toy can be used vaginally and anally but only if it is sterilized after being in the ass, before going into the vagina. Remember, vagina to ass is OK. Ass to vagina, you’re asking for an infection. Also, no matter the material, a sex toy needs to be thoroughly washed prior to it’s first use. So let me break it down on these materials.


If you want a squishier more pliable toy than the other three materials listed, then Silicone would be your choice. It actually comes in a wide range of firmness and finish. As mentioned before, silicone is phthalates free and nonporous1. It’s generally a good idea to limit your exposure to phthalates as studies are beginning to show that they can lead to organ failure and possibly cause cancer. Phthalates are chemicals used to soften plastics. They are present in some sex toy materials but not in pure silicone. Silicone is hypoallergenic.

Being nonporous and heat resistant, you can sterilize silicone toys in a number of ways including, boiling for a few minutes, washing in a 10% bleach solution, washing in the top rack of your dishwasher*, or simply lathering it up well in antibacterial soap and rinsing clean. If your silicone toy has a vibrator motor inside then don’t boil it or put it in the dishwasher. The heat will ruin the motor.

Silicone is a great sex toy material but it does have a drawback. You’re limited in your choice of lubricant. The hard and fast rule is to never use silicone based lube with silicone toys. Only use water based lube. If you don’t want to ruin your toy, that’s the best way to go. However, I have been hearing rumblings amongst sex bloggers that sometimes silicone lube can be used with silicone toys. Apparently they can be compatible when both are of very high quality silicone. It is said that you can test a small, out of the way area, of your sex toy by rubbing a little silicone lube on it. If there’s going to be a reaction, it will happen right away and what you’ll feel and see is that the test spot gets gooey and sticky. If this happens you’re supposed to scrape off the test area and then wash it really well in soap and water. If you want to experiment with your toys and lubes feel free to do this. I just generally stick with water based lubes and call it a day.

For the same reason that silicone lube and silicone toys aren’t compatible (except for when they are), you shouldn’t store these toys where they are touching each other. It will damage the surface of both toys where they were touching.**  A good rule of thumb is to have some kind of storage bag for each of your silicone toys. A lot of them come with their own pouches and it’s fine to store them in there. For the ones that don’t, I just use ziplock style bags. Just make sure the toys are thoroughly dry before you seal them up in plastic bags. Any moisture left in there can lead to mold growth.

Stainless Steel

If ever there was a durable sex toy material, stainless steel would definitely be it. Steel toys like those made by Njoy, are solid, heavy chunks of metal. The mirror polish finish on these toys makes a little lube go a long way and you can use any lube you like with steel. You can disinfect steel toys the same ways you can with silicone: boiling, 10% bleach solution, top rack dishwasher or antibacterial soap. About the only way you can harm steel toys is if you use something abrasive to clean them. That will mar the polished finish.

About the only downfall I can find with steel, and it has nothing to do with it’s safety or hygienic properties, is that it tends to be heavy and people with joint problems, etc might find it tiring to use them. Also, they obviously aren’t going to have any give so thrusting needs to be done with caution.

Njoy toys are cast in 316 grade stainless steel and made from medical grade materials. There is an issue I’ve been wondering about but haven’t found much information on concerning the grade of steel used to make toys. It’s my understanding that the only steel that can be counted on to be nickle free is medical grade. I would hope that all manufacturers are using nickle free steel.*** If you have a nickle allergy, you might want to take the extra step and contact the manufacturer to find out.


Many people are skeptical of using glass sex toys. The truth is, it’s a great material to make toys out of. Glass toys are nonporous and phthalates free so, no worries there. Clean it in all the same ways you would clean steel or silicone with the exception of boiling, where you’d want to put a hand towel in the pot to cushion the toy and keep it from hitting against the sides and possibly chipping.

The material used in glass toys is the same stuff that Pyrex cookware is made of, boroscillicate glass.**** This means that it is very durable and does not break easily. Believe me, even if you have the strongest PC muscles in the world, you’re not going to break a glass toy inside of you. You do have to be careful of chipping it if you drop it onto a hard surface. And if it does get chipped, stop using it. You don’t want to risk injury. Inspect your glass toy for chips prior to every use.  Glass sex toys are compatible with any lube and you’ll find you need very little.

Ceramic and Wood

Both are nonporous and phthalates free materials. The wood is sealed with a finish that is nonporous and body safe. You shouldn’t put either of them in the dishwasher or boil them but other sanitation methods can be used. Solvents of any kind should not be used on wood sex toys.  It will damage the finish.  All types of lube are compatible with ceramic and wood.


Hard Plastic

It’s nonporous and phthalates free. Any lube can be used. It can be sterilized by a number of means but shouldn’t be boiled and I’d keep plastic toys out of the dishwasher.


I almost forgot to include aluminum.  Some toys are being made from it now and it can be considered a safe, nonporous, phthalates free material.  Any lube can be used and it can be cared for like stainless steel.  One advantage it has over steel is its lighter weight.

Choose a sex toy made of the above materials, take proper care of it and observe safe sex toy practices and your toy should last a long time and you’ll stay safe and healthy. The following are the more dubious sex toy materials and if I had to make a blanket statement about them, I’d just recommend staying away from them. Some might be OK if the labeling on the box is honest and accurate and if you adhere to proper hygiene. But for me, there’s just too much uncertainty with these materials.

I’ll run down a list of these materials and they get less hygienic and possibly more dangerous as you go down the list. With all of these, it’s generally best to use with a condom when sharing or, in some cases, even when used just by one person. I’m not completely current on these materials since I usually avoid them so, I’ll reference Lilly’s blog where she’s compiled a comprehensive material reference.

Elastomed (not to be confused with Elastomer)
Nonporous and phthalates free.

Thermoplastic Rubber: TPR, TPE, Elastomer
Some is nonporous, others are not.  Probably phthalates free. Better choice than jelly rubber.

Silicone Blends: TPR Silicone, CyberSilicone
Even though a small amount of silicone might be present (more likely, there is none) in these toys, they are porous.  They are probably phthalates free.  The concept of a silicone blend product is really one invented by some manufacturers.  They want to attract the consumer to the word “silicone” on the box, making them think that the toy is made of a safe material.  These toys should be used with caution.  Who knows what they’re are really made of.

Various “skin” or realistic materials: Often going by names such as Cyberskin or Ultraskin.
Porous and may contain phthalates. Should not be shared without a condom. Limited cleaning options, usually mild soap and water except, in the case of where not even soap can be used. It is recommended that Fleshlight material be rinsed with water and occasionally rubbing alcohol can be used. Many of these products need to be coated in a very fine dusting of cornstarch to preserve the feel of the material. Only water based lubricant can be used with these materials.

PVC, Jelly, Rubber, Latex
These are the materials I would stay away from. They are all porous. They most likely all contain phthalates in addition to other irritating chemicals that people can have bad reactions to. Not only should you always use condoms over these when sharing but even when you just use it by yourself. You want a barrier between your delicate skin and and that toxic soup. You shouldn’t use oil based lube with these but silicone or water based should be fine. But here’s where my opinion comes in, just save up your money a little bit and get quality silicone sex toys instead.

And because you can’t always trust what the manufacturer puts on the box, it’s important that we have a means to get definitive answers. That’s what Dildology.org is doing so, we all need to give them our support.

Vibrators should be stored with the batteries removed. If you store them for long periods of time with the batteries inside, they can corrode and ruin the toy. It’s good to remove the batteries when traveling as well. Anything with a vibrator inside that can’t be removed should not be boiled and I advise against using the dishwasher.

Safe anal sex toys 
Not all sex toys should be inserted anally. This is because items without a flared base can get sucked up into the rectum, where it cannot be reached and requires emergency medical treatment for removal. There are plenty of sex toys made specifically for insertion into the anus. They are safe because they have a flared base that is at least 2” across. The base acts as a stop and keeps the toy from slipping too far up. Another consideration with anal play is lubrication. Use a lot of it. If you think you have enough, use even more than that. This is because the anus and rectum do not self lubricate like a vagina and without supplemental lubrication, it is easy to tear the delicate tissues. Here’s another one of my opinions: porous materials should never be used in anal toys.  Why use something in your ass that can’t be sterilized?  And always remember: mouth to ass is OK, vagina to ass is OK, ass to anywhere else is not OK. I don’t care what they do in porn. It’s a bad idea.

A word on Lube
There are two common lube ingredients that I want to call attention to here.  The first is glycerin.  The other is parabens.  Glycerin is a sugar derivative and that can be a bad thing to introduce into the vagina.  It ferments at body temperature and can lead to yeast infections.

Parabens are a class of chemicals widely used as preservatives by cosmetic and pharmaceutical companies.  They fall under the category of “nasty shit we ought to stay away from”.  Some people are allergic to them and can have skin reactions.  Also, parabens are being found in breast tumors.  Some parabens have a demonstrated ability to mimic estrogen.  Methylparaben applied to the skin, may react with UVB leading to increased skin aging and DNA damage.

It’s hard to limit our exposure to them though.  Just take a look through your health and beauty products and you’ll find them everywhere.  So, we should probably avoid them when possible and using a lube that doesn’t include them makes good sense.  Sliquid is an often recommended lube that does not have glycerin or parabens.

As I said, I’ll constantly revise this page whenever I learn something new, I find out that I’m wrong (hey, it happens) or when new information becomes available from the industry.

1Silicone is actually a porous material.  Confused yet?  The holes are just very small (bacteria and viruses cannot get into them) and there is a low density of them.

*The thing with using the dishwasher, that is often not mentioned elsewhere, is that you should not use any kind of detergent and the toys are only properly sanitized if your dishwasher has a sanitize cycle. Mine doesn’t, so I’d never put my sex toys in there. Besides, I wouldn’t want my sex toys in there with the dishes and you can’t use detergent anyway. So, it would seem like such a waste of water and electricity to run the washer just to clean a few toys that you could easily wash in the sink with soap.

**If your toys are made out of high grade pure silicone, like Tantus uses, the toys will not be damaged by touching in storage.  If you’re unsure, it’s best to give them all their own pouch.

***Caution should be used when buying stainless steel toys from merchants on Amazon or Ebay.  Apparently, some of them are knockoffs and the composition of the metal is questionable.  Also, it’s been brought to my attention that Pipedream’s MetalWorx toys are probably not pure, solid stainless steel.

****Some smaller, artisan glass toy companies, like Fucking Sculptures, are using a material called “soda-lime glass”.  It is reportedly, just as durable as boroscillicate glass but it might not withstand the temperature of boiling water or the dishwasher.


Are you anally adventurous? Then there’s no doubt that you have been considering a deep clean for some time. For no muss, no fuss in the wonderful world of anal play, douching and enemas are becoming increasingly popular. They can also be enjoyed as part of some extreme BDSM play, so why not put some intense pressure on your sub, and give it a go?

We know that douching/an enema as a standalone activity can be an intensely sensual experience. So for all you budding klismaphiliacs out there, UberKinky has put together this comprehensive guide to give you some essential pointers. Enjoy some good clean fun and start fulfilling those downstairs desires without delay!

Safety First!

STOP! For practising safe sanitation, it is imperative that you read through these safety tips carefully. UberKinky takes your well-being seriously, that’s why it’s important that you have all the facts before we send you on your way, douche/enema in hand. Although partaking in douching or an enema is a relatively risk free practice, there are a couple of things that you should consider before moving forward.

Here at UberKinky, we live by the theory that everything is supremely satisfying in moderation. So don’t overdo it! Excessive douching and enemas can cause the mucous lining of the anus to be washed away, leaving you vulnerable to infections. It can also cause cuts and interfere with normal bowel function. We recommend that you fulfil your anal ambitions no more than once or twice weekly.

If you’re a little over-excited and want to dive straight in at the deep end; calm down, there’s no rush! It is crucial that you always follow these dos and don’ts to get the most from your play;


  • Use soap, salts, or other additives, as they could cause irritation – if you’re just starting out, save the additives for when you’re a little more experienced
  • Use if you have any heart problems or any other serious health related issues
  • Strain or force the fluid out of the rectum, it will be expelled naturally


  • Rinse your douche or enema before use
  • Go to the toilet before getting started
  • Thoroughly clean your douche/enema after use with antibacterial toy cleaner
  • Stop if you experience any pain or severe discomfort
  • Test the temperature of the water before filling your douche/enema (it should be body temperature, approximately 37-40 C)

Getting Started

So you can’t believe that it’s taken you so long, but you’re finally ready to take the plunge? Well if you’re all set for some anal action, but you’re still unsure of how to administer this medical procedure; have no fear, UberKinky is here to solve all of those douching dilemmas. Simply follow this step by step guide and you’ll be on your way to cleansed contentment in no time;

  1. Give your cleaning device a clean of its own
  2. Fill it with warm (not hot!) water
  3. Lubricate the anus and nozzle of the enema or douche
  4. Insert the finger to ensure that the muscles are relaxed
  5. Assume the position – there are three optimum positions for administering an enema or douching;
    • Sims’ – lie straight on the left side, with the right leg bent over the left leg
    • Knee-chest – lie face down and bring the knees into the chest
    • Lying on the back with the knees bentbeginners-guide-to-anal-douching-enemas-diagrams

Although, if you are a die hard fetishist you may want to try; seated on a rim seat, queening stool, or an examination seat with stirrups

  1. Insert the nozzle just past the sphincter
  2. Squeeze in as much, or as little water, as you are comfortable with
  3. Remove the nozzle slowly and gently
  4. Move around and massage the stomach in a clockwise direction – this will get the fluid flowing
  5. Hold the water in the anus until you naturally feel the urge to expel it – do so whilst sitting on the toilet
  6. Repeat as required until the water runs clear

For less of a deep clean, and more of a rectal rise, only introduce a small amount of water into the body.


  • Release the bulb (if using a hand held squeezing device) whilst still inserted in the anus as it will suck the ‘dirty’ water back in
  • Douche or use an enema right before anal play, you should allow 2-3 hours to ensure that all of the water has been expelled


  • Insert the finger first to relax the muscles before inserting the nozzle
  • Use plenty of water based lubricant
  • Have a towel nearby in case of emergency

You can’t fool us! You may look like butt-er wouldn’t melt, but we know that everyone craves some intense anal action every once in a while. So, what could be more exciting than playing host to a stimulating sex toy specifically designed to ‘ring’ your bell?

Well, when it comes to anal sex toys, you can’t beat the weird yet wonderful UberKinky collection! However, we’re not just here to plug our anally accomplished range; we’re also here to make all of your BIG dreams a reality. So, whether you want to get your fill of lascivious behaviour, add a little beauty to your brawn, intensify your sex play or take your BDSM/humiliation play to extremes, for the ultimate in back door gratification a butt plug is a welcome addition to any play.

Now, sit back, relax and open yourself up to a world of new possibilities!

Safety First!

You know that song, ‘Ring of Fire’?! Well, in order to avoid giving an all new meaning to the phrase, it’s vital that you read through our safety section carefully. After all, you don’t want unforeseen circumstances to pull the plug on your back door fun, do you?

Firstly, it is imperative to clean your toys thoroughly before and after each use. If you plan to share please check the safety of doing so. Porous toys can transmit infections and should therefore only be shared if condoms are used. For more information regarding cleaning and sex toy safety tips, please take a look at our Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toy Materials.

Now, being lost in space is a frightening prospect. However, getting a butt plug lost in Ur-anus can be an even more terrifying thought, particulay for those of us that aren’t astronauts! That’s why it is imperative that you follow our advice and choose a toy with a flange (flared base). If you select an alternative design (there are always those that think they know best!) and your toy does get lost in the moment, it is important to remain calm. Simply sit on the toilet and push, as if doing a poo. The toy should move downwards to a point where it can be pulled out easily. Failing that, however, it may be an appropriate time to take a trip to the emergency room. Have no fear; ‘good’ boys and girls that listen to UberKinky will be just fine!

Finally, don’t overdo it; remember everything (and we mean everything) in moderation!


  • Choose a long, hard butt plug
  • Use a toy with a circumference greater than 4.5 inches (diameter – 1.4 ins.)
  • Force a plug in, be patient!
  • Choose a textured or ridged plug
  • Wear for more than 20 minutes. You can gradually build this up over time (if you desire)


  • Choose a small, smooth butt plug
  • Make sure your butt plug has a flared base (flange)
  • Use plenty of lubricant
  • Go slowly and stop immediately if you feel any pain
  • Sanitise toys before and after each use
  • Use a condom if your toy is porous and you plan to share

Getting Started

Are you really pumped about horsing around? Do you get a real buzz out of being stretched to your limits? Or, are you just looking for something substantial to fill that hole? Well, we know you’re excited, but it’s not a race…all good things come to those who wait! After all, even Usain Bolt starts slowly.

How difficult it is to insert the butt plug will vary from person to person. Some people are much more relaxed and flexible than others. Until you are comfortable taking a whole butt plug we recommend that you fly solo and get used to the sensations.

So, here’s our step by step guide to get you started. You will find this process easier if you are already slightly aroused. Like you needed an excuse 😉

  1. Apply plenty of lubricant to the anus and the toy
  2. Gently insert a well lubricated finger into the anus and allow it a little time to explore
  3. Assume the position. We recommend one of the following;
    • Laid on your side
    • On all fours (doggy-style)
    • Squatting over the butt plug (either on the knees or feet)
  4. Cough. This may seem odd, but coughing actually helps to relax the sexual organs. Trust us, we know from experience!
  5. Hold your butt plug by the flange and the shaft. Point it towards the anal opening, angled upwards slightly towards the stomach. Lightly push in the tip (using a condom on your toy will aid a quick clean up)
    • Some discomfort is normal, but if you feel any pain at this point please stop immediately
  6. Leave the tip whilst you become accustomed to your new back door buddy
  7. If you are able to, gradually and gently push in the rest of the butt plug. It is common for this to take a few tries, but don’t dismay UberKinky friends, just plug away! Try again the following day, and the day after, until you are able to take the full thing
  8. Try squeezing the sphincter muscles around the toy for greater stimulation. You can even slide in and out for a added pleasure

In the beginning, it is quite common for muscle contractions to cause the butt plug to shoot back out of the anus. Although this can be quite entertaining, it should not continue over time. If it does, it may be worth considering a slightly larger plug, or one designed for long term use.

Thinking back over the years that I’ve been sexually active, sex was always a quick thing. A little kissing and maybe some oral sex and then ‘wam bam thank you ma’am’. Sex wasn’t something that was savored. It was more of , ‘are you done yet?’ If sex lasted thirty minutes it was to long for me.

Then at forty, a whole new world opened up to me. I learned that sex is fun and I wanted to have it every day to make up for the lost time. But at our age, things don’t always work like you want them to and everyday was a bit much to ask from my disabled husband. Desire is the mother is innovation and we figured out that rather than trying to have sex every day, we could play for hours at a time on the days that Hubby’s back felt up to it.

Quality over quantity became our theory. No more quickies for us, our sex became an event that lasts for hours. Of course, it’s not all penetration. But with creative foreplay mixed with a bit of BDSM, we’ve learned how to make sex last as long as we desire.

Want to enjoy marathon sex in your bedroom? Here’s a few tips to help you stretch out your play time.

Creative Foreplay

Go beyond a little kissing and get creative with your foreplay. Some of our favorite things are sensual massages using our bodies rather than just our hands, oral sex, stimulating your partner with your hands or fingers, spanking and other kinky activities, or using sex toys on each other.

Switching It Up

Sex isn’t all about intercourse. Going from foreplay to intercourse and back to foreplay again is a great way to keep things going. It not only keeps your lover on their toes with erotic surprises, it also prolongs your orgasm (for males) or opens up the door for multiple orgasms.

Accepting Breaks

Interruptions tend to happen. Whether it’s the kids, your lover loses their erection or you just need a time out for a potty break; interruptions don’t have to mean the end of your fun. During these times, try masturbating to keep your excitement level up.

Something New

Using BDSM or role play is the perfect way to keep things exciting. Sensation play, bondage, spanking or even switching roles can help extend your sessions. Whether it’s sensual BDSM or hard-core scenes, being kinky can be just what you need to help you have marathon sexual encounters.

The best thing to happen to my sex life is discovering that sex is fun and can last as long as you desire for it to. What works for me, might not work for you. But, being creative and exploring different things can be the key you need to take your sexual encounters from a quickie to an explosive encounter that just keeps going and going until you’re completely satisfied on many levels.

The release of ‘Bend Over Boyfriend’ by Dr. Carol Queen and the gang at Good Vibrations in 1998, seems to have sparked a strap-on phenomenon between heterosexual couples. With sales of strap-ons leading the way in the sex toy market, it’s clear that strap-on sex is quietly being embraced by our society. But where does the love of strapping on a dildo come from? Is it a newly discovered sexual pleasure?

1. Throughout the ages there are signs and clues left behind of dildos being used to worship fertility gods, in rituals, for sex and were even used as baby mobiles in ancient Greece. Did anyone ever think to strap on one of these dildos? As with most of humanity’s sexual history, the advent of strap-on sex is hidden within a few precious artifacts, ancient mythology, writing, and even paintings.

2. The oldest known relic that’s believed to be a strap-on is from the Upper Paleolithic Period; c10,000 bc.

Amongst the many artifacts that appear to be dildos, a double ‘baton’ has been discovered with a hole in the middle. Archeologists theorize that this hole is for a strap to hold it to the wearer. There’s also a Japanese wooden strap-on dildo that’s been discovered.

3. Archeologists have also found an oriental double ended dildo carved from jade dates that dates back to the 10th – 13th century. Being made from Jade, it’s clear that this was once a prized procession of the owner.

4.Ancient Egyptian mythology also gives a glimpse of strap-on pleasure with their belief that the ebb of flow of the Nile River was caused by Atum’s (the god of creation) ejaculation. This sparked the ritualistic ejaculation of Pharaoh into the Nile River. The strength of the rain was thought to correlate to the strength of the pharaoh’s ejaculation. It’s believed that to ensure an abundance of rain, the pharaoh’s wife would massage his prostate with a phallus while he sat on her lap and masturbated.

5. Clues of strap-on use are also found in murals decorating the walls of long forgotten brothels and bathhouses. In the Suburban Baths at Pompeii Italy, a mural has been unearthed which depicts a threesome with male anal penetration. Another mural at Pompeii that’s especially exciting, shoa woman penetrating another woman as well as males with a strap-on according to Roman Scholar John Clarke. These murals seem to prove that sexual exploration as well as strap-on sex was embraced and celebrated in ancient Italy. It’s no wonder the bathhouse were such a popular place.

6. Another ancient painting, from Athens and housed the Corinth Archaeological Museum, portrays a female figure dancing, while wearing a strap-on dildo and a tail, before a seated Dionysus.

It’s believed that most ancient Greeks and Romans regarded women who took upon themselves the role of penetrating as having oversized clitorises to please their lover with. Roman mythology is also full of gender bending tales. Such as Hermaphroditus the son of Hermes (Roman Mercury) and Aphrodite (Venus) which is described as being both male and female. Also, Macrobius describes a masculine form of “Venus” (Aphrodite) who has a beard and male genitals, but wore women’s clothing. Belief in this mythology survived through Greek and Roman cultures as seen is sculptures of Aphroditos, a female figure who pulls up her woman’s clothing to reveal male gentiles.

Not only through artifacts and art, strap-on sex is also found within many ancient writings. Such as in the poetry of Herodas, a 3rd century bc Greek poet. Found on recycled papyrus that was used to wrap mummies one of Herodas’ Mimes describes women going to a cobbler for dildos that were carefully stitched from scarlet leather and are described as being very soft, ‘like the real thing’. He makes mention of straps but doesn’t expand on their purpose.

In the writings of Seneca the Elder’s Controversiae, a Roman writer, refers to lesbians as Tribades who use strap-on dildos. Likewise, Seneca the Younger, a Roman philosopher makes mention in Epistle Morales ad Lucilium of women penetrating men. Strap-on sex is also talked about in the Secret History of Prociopius; where Theodra, wife of the Emperor Justinian, is depicted as penetrating the ‘hinder parts’ of her male lovers.

7. Hibreas, a Roman Orator, is thought to have once said of Tribades, ‘I first examined the male to know if it was natural or stitched on’. Likewise, Marcus Valerius Martialis, a Latin poet, portrays Flinene Pedica as a Tribate who sodomizes the boys more heated than a husband and ‘fucks eleven girls or Boys in a single day’.

Also, in Affairs of the Heart by a Latin satirist, a direct reference to strap-on dildos is made.

“Therefore, if even men like you, Callicratidas, can find satisfaction in women, let us males fence ourselves off from each other; but, if males find intercourse with males acceptable, henceforth let women too love each other. Come now, epoch of the future, legislator of strange pleasures, devise fresh paths for male lusts, but bestow the same privilege upon women, and let them have intercourse with each other just as men do. Let them strap to themselves cunningly contrived instruments of lechery, those mysterious monstrosities devoid of seed, and let woman lie with woman as does a man. Let wanton tribadism — that word seldom heard, which I feel ashamed even to utter — freely parade itself, and let our women’s chambers emulate Philaenis, disgracing themselves with Sapphic amours.

And how much better that a woman should invade the provinces of male wantonness than that the nobility of the male sex should become effeminate and the male play the part of a woman, as a woman can strap to themself these instruments and do a male as a male!”

If that isn’t enough to paint a picture of what strap-on sex might have looked like in ancient times, we find even more examples. Such as in the writings of Hipponax, a 5th century Greek poet who describes a female using a strap-on on a Greek male. Also a tale vivid tale of strap-on sex is found papyrus which was recycled to wrap a mummy was recovered at Oxrhynchus in Egypt.

In Lydian tone she said, “Come hither, I will plug up your tight asshole.” And she beat my egg sack with a sprig of lilac as if I were a satyr. I fell backwards, breathing heavy…”

8. A very similar passage occurs in the Satyricon of Petronius, which describes the sexual pleasures of the Emperor Nero Oenothea brought out a leathern dildo which, when she had smeared it with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed, she commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction; finally mixing nasturtium juice with elixir of southern wood, she gave my penis a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she commenced to strike me gently all over my penis and belly below the navel.

A tale of female dominance is found within the ancient writing of Inanna and Ebih. Not only is a story of the goddess dominating Elbih recorded, but there are also descriptions of elaborate cross dressing transformation rituals.

 9. It’s also found that strap-ons were seen in ancient Greek Theater where male only casts would wear gigantic phallus attached to their waists in satyr-plays.

No matter how obscure the history of strap-on sex remains, one thing’s clear; strapping on a dildo isn’t anything new. It’s been enjoyed by both female and male lovers alike throughout the ages. From the brothels of Pompeii to the hidden sex chambers of Rome, sexual exploration has historically been embraced by celebrated. Given the popularity of ancient dildos and the acceptance of male anal pleasure, it isn’t a far leap to conclude that strap-ons have played a role in sexual enjoyment throughout all history.

Fetish Related Prostate Health

“What is fetish related prostate health?” I hear you cry. Don’t despair; This is here, as always, to give you the facts. Whether you’re the sort of person that spends hours at the gym, watching your food intake, or you simply like to relax and hope for the best, we have just the medical motivation to inspire your best workout ever. Stave off prostate related health problems whilst experiencing orgasmic anal action with this simple, yet satisfying procedure. Staying healthy has never been so exciting!

So what is prostate milking/massage? It is the process of releasing fluid from the prostate by stimulating the gland. During your normal orgasm only a small amount of the alkaline amalgam from the prostate is released. Over time, a build up of this fluid can become stagnant causing bacteria to grow. This is often the culprit of prostate disease.

Most health care professionals agree that expelling fluids from the prostate every three weeks is beneficial for maintaining a healthy gland. Research suggests that men who fail to do so are at a greater risk of developing prostatitis, benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and prostate cancer.

Although prostate massage should always be used as a preventative measure rather than a cure, in cases of chronic prostatisits it offers an incredible form of pain relief. It is also essential for men with impotence and chaste males in order to keep the seminal fluid flowing and prevent a build up in the prostate.

Here at tryfm.com, we don’t like to scaremonger, but we do like to deliver you with the facts; so here are just a couple…. Research shows that prostate cancer is the most common of cancers amongst men, and it is predicted to be the most common cancer overall by 2030. The lifetime risk of a man developing this deadly disease is 1 in 8.

So, what are you waiting for?

Safety First!

TryFm WANTS YOU… to be safe! We hope that you know by now, your safety is our number one priority. That’s why we want you to care for your prostate, but do so safely. So follow these useful tips and we promise that your medical procedure will be as pain free and pleasurable as possible.

Remember; less is most certainly more when it comes to applying pressure to your prostate.


  • Press hard onto the central area of the prostate
  • Massage if you have prostate cancer – milking can transport the cancer to other parts of the body
  • Massage the prostate if you have acute prostatitis as it can cause the infection to spread
  • Milk the prostate if you have calculi (small stones in the prostate) as it can increase the risk of tearing or scratching the gland


  • Trim the fingernails
  • Wash the hands
  • Consider wearing a latex glove if using the finger
  • Go to the toilet before getting started
  • Use plenty of lubricant
  • Stop if you experience any pain
  • Check with your doctor prior to milking if you have any health concerns
  • Use an enema or douche 3-4 hours before massaging with a toy

Getting Started

So you’ve decided to give your prostate some much needed care and attention, but you’re unsure of how to find that elusive ‘P spot’? Well, there are four main ways to embark on this anal adventure, and to show how much we care we’ve detailed them for you below. We like to make things simple for you here at TryFm, so follow these straight forward instructions and you’ll be on your way to experiencing perfect prostate pleasure in no time. We recommend that the finger is used as a starting point, as it allows for easy insertion and optimum comfort.

Internal Massage with Finger

  1. Assume the position: We recommend lying on the back to aid relaxation
  2. Lube aplenty: Lavish lubricant in and around the anus, as well as on the finger
  3. Pre-arousal: Gently massage the testicles, penis and perineum
  4. Spread em: Move the buttocks apart and gently massage the rectal opening
  5. Open wide: Insert the finger slowly and gently into the anus (approximately 1 inch). Gently move the finger around, without going deeper
  6. Deep exploration: Insert the finger in an upward direction towards to navel
  7. Be gentle: When you feel soft rounded tissue, the size of a walnut, you have reached your destination
  8. Massage: Gently stroke the sides of the prostate in a ‘come here’ motion, avoiding the centre all together
    • For intensified orgasm
  9. Finger Fun: When orgasm is approaching, move the finger in and out of the rectum
  10. Penis Pleasure: Gently massage the penis
  11. Success: When orgasm is achieved, semen will flow lightly from the penis

Internal Massage With Probe

Are those fragile fingers not quite hitting the spot? Then a probe may be the preferable option for your medical procedure. A probe allows for easy insertion and pain free pleasure. Don’t forget to sterilise your instrument before use.

Internal Massage With Toy

Want to achieve optimum results without getting those hands dirty? Prostate massagers are ergonomically shaped to really hit the ‘spot’. So if you want optimum results, derived from minimum effort, TryFm recommends the following devices;

External Massage

If you’re not one for diving in at the deep end, the same results can be achieved by simply performing an external massage on the perineum. Run the fingers between the base of the penis and the anus until you feel a slight indentation. Gently massage that area to stimulate the prostate. This method may induce an immediate erection and can, as with internal massage, result in ejaculation.

With all of these methods, orgasm is achieved on average between 15 and 20 minutes. The sensation will be somewhat more subtle that what you are used to, but just as, if not more, satisfying. Don’t go harder if no fluid escapes, it just means that there is not an excess amount sitting in the prostate at this time.

Chastity & BDSM Play

So you want to milk your man, but you don’t want him to derive any pleasure from it whatsoever? Here at TryFm we know that you care about your slave’s long term health, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to see him suffer in the meantime! It is particularly important that a chaste male has his prostate milked at least once a week to keep his juices flowing. There’s no need for the device to be removed, but make sure he cleans it well afterwards. To ensure that your man doesn’t encounter any pleasure from this activity, try numbing the penis and testicles with ice beforehand, and definitely don’t provide any other form of arousal.

Which Lubricant Should I Use?

In order for everything to run smoothly with your new endeavour, lubricant is a ‘must’. It is possible to use both silicone and water based lubricants for this type of play, but remember to never use silicone based lube with silicone toys as it will degrade them. When it comes to prostate milking, we prefer to stick with a water based lubricant, that’s why we recommend a splash of the following lubes to get you going;

Anal sex is an art form of sexual encounters. When done right it can be highly erotic, when done wrong it can turn you or your lover off from anal sex forever. Being safe is one of the keys to ensuring that you get the most out of your anal experience.

There’s nothing complicated about anal sex safety. Yet, in the zealousness of the moment, it’s often overlooked. Unlike PIV sex, spontaneity with anal sex isn’t always a good choice. Instead a bit of planning and preparation can go a long way.


Having lube on hand is a must. Since your anus doesn’t create its own lubrication like the vagina does, you’ll need to reapply lube as you play. Lube will keep everything slick and gliding smoothly. How much lube is too much? There’s no such thing. Too little lube, things will drag and pull as you play. Believe me, it doesn’t feel erotic at all. What kind of lube should you use? Water based lube is always the best choice. Because it’s body and condom safe, there’s little to no chance of irritation. When using water based lube, keep in mind that the body absorbs it making reapplying necessary. Also when choosing a lube, remember that silicone oil based lubricant can break down condoms and cause them to tear while being used.

Having manicured nails is also an aspect to consider. Jagged, rough or hang nails can irritate or tare the thin mucus membrane of the rectum. The same goes for toys used in the anus, be sure that they’re free from sharp edges or texture that might irritate the rectum. Also, keep in mind that anything you put in your ass should be made for it. Toys with flared bases ensure that they don’t slip too far in the anus.


Although not directly related to safety, having a bowl movement the day you plan on having anal sex will cut down on the chance of an accident. Using an anal douche a few hours before you play can also be used to ensure that’s there’s no accidents.

Because the rectum contains bacteria, condoms are a great choice to keep everything clean. They can even be used over your toys. Not only good for cleanliness, condoms will protect you from STD’s.

Latex condoms are anal safe. So are pre-lubricated condoms. However, condoms that are lubricated with nonoxynol-9, often found in some lubricants and used to kill HIV and STD’s , should be avoided. Although it was once widely recommended, now we know that it’s often too harsh for the soft tissue of the rectum.

Condoms today come with a lot of bells or whistles. Many designed for her pleasure are not the best choice for anal sex because the texture can be irritating.

Never share fingers, toys or a dick between your anus and vagina. The anus contains bacteria which can cause infection. Therefore, anything that’s put in the anus should be thoroughly cleaned before sharing it with another area your lover’s body. Using a glove for fingers or a condom over toys, makes it a lot easier to clean up and continue playing.

I always use silicone, glass, metal or wood toys for anal play. They are non-porous, so they don’t harbor bacteria, and are easy to clean with a bit of anti-bacterial soap and water.

Anal sex is an erotic experience for both lovers. Yet, many people avoid it with a ten foot pole because of fears or a past bad experience. Being knowledgeable about the finer points of anal pleasure helps you be a better lover and creates an experience that both you and lover are sure to want more of.

Communicate with your lover, be safe and take things slow and you’re anal sex experience should leave you wanting it again and again.