What is Facesitting?
Facesitting is literally how the name sounds. It is where one person sits on another person’s face. Facesitting, or sometimes called queening, brings one person’s face in contact with another person’s anus or genitals, either forced or “consensual.” Once the genitals or anus of the top have been brought into contact with the bottom’s mouth, oral sex if performed. The top can also grind down, wiggle, and move around on the bottom’s face.
Normally, facesitting involves a female on top and a male or a female on the bottom. This is because genital contact is more common than contact with a person’s anus and a male cannot facesit from the top. It just does not work physically. An erection goes upwards, so a male can’t have oral contact with a person below him. Facesitting is typically considered to be part of BDSM because it can easily be used to create a dominance and submissive dynamic and humiliate the bottom if that is desired.
Why Would Someone Partake In Facesitting?
There are two main reasons why people typically partake in facesitting. It is either for the sensual experience or for a BDSM type scene.
The first is because certain men enjoy the sensation of being very intimate with a woman’s sex organ. There is a specific taste associated with vaginal secretions that may be pleasurable. There is a smell associated as well that many people find erotic. Having a person on top of you exerts pressure and that can be pleasurable and heighten the experience even more than ordinary oral sex. There is often a darkness so all your other senses such as taste, smell, and touch intensify making for a highly erotic experience. Some women can “squirt” and will discharge large amounts of fluid upon orgasm. This can be very exciting for a male to have this happen on his face. Oftentimes males do not get physical proof of an orgasm, so having it directly on their face can really solidify their ego. They feel like sex gods and can do anything. It just makes you happy to be able to pleasure your partner.
The second is for a BDSM experience. A part of BDSM is establishing a submissive and a dominant dynamic. Facesitting almost inherently creates this as one person is on the top and the sole purpose of facesitting is their pleasure. The experience also creates an altered physical strength between the two partners. When you are sitting on another person’s chest and face it is a lot easier to control their movement. Even if you are weaker than your partner, they might not be able to get up because you are on them. The bottom gives up control and is unable to do things he normally is able to do. He also gets no genital contact. His pleasure comes second. His ability to be pleasured and have sex is diminished making him second to the dominant. Some people really enjoy a D/S dynamic and facesitting creates an ideal environment to do it.
Safety
In order to facesit, you cover a person’s mouth and nose to a certain extent. This does add some risk to it. The nose and the mouth are where people breathe from, so if you restrict them too much, you can cause harm to them. This is further complicated by the fact most people’s tongues only stick out of their mouth a few inches. So you have to be very close in order for someone to perform oral sex on you. However with some practice you can find comfortable positions where you put some pressure on the bottom but not too much that it restricts their capacity to breathe in a meaningful way. This does take practice and communication. It is also good to have a signal that things are getting too intense. An easy one is for the bottom to tap the top’s buttocks or thighs in a “tap out” manner which will signal they need air and for the top to come up and allow them to breathe. Safewords, loud mumbling, or shaking can all be safety features that accomplish the same thing. Whatever works for you.
Additional Possibilities
There are other dimensions you can add to facesitting. The first is to have the bottom in bondage. He is therefore forced to perform oral sex and this can add humiliation, helplessness, and a feeling of submissiveness, all things that people enjoy. Tie his hands to his side with wrist and thigh cuffs. Tie his hands to the side of the bed. Restrain his hands to his side with belts. Put him in a straightjacket. Any form of bondage will work that prevents him from easily moving around. Do be careful though. There is an additional safety risk. If he cannot tap you to tell you he is running out of air, then there is some more risk. So just be careful and communicate lots and have a way he can still signal.
There are pieces of furniture called queening stools or facesitting stools. These are specific forms of furniture that make facesitting easy. The bottom places his head in a box, and then the female just lowers herself onto the top of the box and he performs his duties. Now these can be quite expensive and EF does not sell them. However you can make your very own. If you are handy with wood, you can make one with relative ease. But the other option is to find a chair that has a cushion you can lift up. You lift up the cushion so there is just a hole and no cushion. You then just trim the legs until it is a good height. You can then sit or straddle the chair. The bottom’s head goes under the chair (so it is under the hole). You get the same style of furniture without much effort. If you did not want to trim the chair, you could just put the bottom on a pile of cushions until he was at the right height.
Stimulating the Top
Although the tongue can be used, the male’s nose can also be used for stimulation. The female can grind around on it causing contact with her clitoris or vagina. This can also provide stimulation. What works is going to depend on each person. But a good place to start is just sitting still, then add some movement (the top), then experiment until you find what works for you.
Hopefully you now have an understand that facesitting involves one person sitting down on another person for genital or anal stimulation. People do it for both the sensual and the BDSM aspect, and that it is a safe activity as long as you think about what you are doing. If you have any questions or personal stories feel free to leave them in the comments.
I did use gendered words during this article. That is because facesitting is typically done with a male on the bottom and a female on top. You can however switch this up if you so choose.