Vibrator Envy
Today’s article focuses on a problem that many men face with the introduction of a toy, and that is envy and feelings of inadequacy in the face of a vibrator. We will discuss how to overcome this and why you will never be replaced by a vibrator.
We vs. Me Mentality
One thing I have noticed in forum posts, online discussions, and personal discussions is that men compare themselves to vibrators. They compare the length of their penis, the girth of their penis, and how their penis can’t vibrate. But the first thing you need to realize is that you are not in a competition with a vibrator. A vibrator is not a replacement for your penis. Men get this “me” versus the vibrator mentality where everything is compared to one.
There is a reason why vibrators vibrate, come in bright colors, have patterns, and have different lengths and girths. It is because they have to differentiate themselves from your penis. They have to find a niche market where they can actually compete. You are not competing with vibrators; they are competing with you. They have to have new and novel features to compete with you and be sold.
So understand that you and a vibrator are distinct entities, that each is unique, and each provides something different. It is not a head to head competition. It is far better to think of the vibrator and you as a “we.” You complement each other and create something better together. So the first thing you need to get comfortable with introducing a vibrator is to stop the vibrator versus “me” mentality and think of the two of you as a “we.”
Things A Vibrator Cannot Do
The reason a vibrator should not be compared to you is because a vibrator cannot do many things. There is a distinct feel to a penis. It is warm, it changes because it is flexible, it can ejaculate, it swells before orgasm, and it just has a unique texture and feel to it. When you are having sex with someone, they feel your breath, you can kiss them, you can talk to them and whisper sweet nothings to them, you can moan and groan, your body creates warmth, your hands move, your movements are unique each time, and you exert pressure on her. These are all things unique to you that no vibrator can ever replicate. There is a human aspect that is so random, so unique each time, and so dynamic that it is really something special.
The biggest thing a vibrator cannot do is create an emotional relationship. A vibrator cannot tell you it loves you. It cannot surprise you with gifts, cheer you up when you are sad, it cannot love you, it cannot make you feel safe, special, or excited. These are all human things. And sex is so much more than just an orgasm. Sex is about a connection to someone. It is about an expression of your feelings. It is about intimacy. Again these are all qualities that you have that are far more important than a vibrator. When you ask someone what the most important part of their relationship is, no one says the number of orgasms they have. And that is really why a vibrator cannot replace you, because it cannot create a relationship.
Communication
Now I can tell you a bunch of reasonable, logical things, but chances are there is still going to be some doubt in the back of your mind. You are still going to have that emotional response that makes you want to smash that infernal toy. The only way you are really going to get rid of that anxiety is to sit down and talk with your partner. You need to have a heart to heart and share your insecurities. Feel free to say they are unreasonable and you want them to go away. Feel free to share your worries and your feelings. That is fine. If she is truly an understanding partner, she is going to explain how you will never be replaced. She can calm those insecurities and help you understand the things she personally likes about you best. If you are jealous at all, sit down and have a conversation. It will do so much to help you understand what she likes about sex, what she likes about you, and chances are afterwards you are going to have even better sex than before.
What Happens When you Introduce A Vibrator?
Something to think about is what happens after you introduce a vibrator. From personal experience, friend’s experiences, and online reading, it is that vibrators actually increase the amount of sex you have. You might be asking yourself how that is possible. Well the more of a good thing you have the more you want of it. How often do you have an amazing dessert and think about it for the next day? How often do you get a craving for something super delicious? Well the same thing happens with a vibrator. A vibrator makes sex better. It creates a “we.” You create a compliment. It works great for foreplay. It works great during your refractory period. It lets you have clitoral and vaginal stimulation simultaneously. And when the two of you experience better sex, you want more sex. You get a taste of something amazing and it is always on your mind. It draws you back again and again. So realize that a vibrator will not replace you, but it will in fact make you more valuable than you used to be. You now become more desirable.
So if you have vibrator envy, realize you are unique and a vibrator will never replace you. It will only ever compliment you. Realize that you likely need to sit down and share your fears and work through them. And also realize a vibrator might get you lucky more often.
One thing I have noticed in forum posts, online discussions, and personal discussions is that men compare themselves to vibrators. They compare the length of their penis, the girth of their penis, and how their penis can’t vibrate. But the first thing you need to realize is that you are not in a competition with a vibrator. A vibrator is not a replacement for your penis. Men get this “me” versus the vibrator mentality where everything is compared to one.
There is a reason why vibrators vibrate, come in bright colors, have patterns, and have different lengths and girths. It is because they have to differentiate themselves from your penis. They have to find a niche market where they can actually compete. You are not competing with vibrators; they are competing with you. They have to have new and novel features to compete with you and be sold.
So understand that you and a vibrator are distinct entities, that each is unique, and each provides something different. It is not a head to head competition. It is far better to think of the vibrator and you as a “we.” You complement each other and create something better together. So the first thing you need to get comfortable with introducing a vibrator is to stop the vibrator versus “me” mentality and think of the two of you as a “we.”
Things A Vibrator Cannot Do
The reason a vibrator should not be compared to you is because a vibrator cannot do many things. There is a distinct feel to a penis. It is warm, it changes because it is flexible, it can ejaculate, it swells before orgasm, and it just has a unique texture and feel to it. When you are having sex with someone, they feel your breath, you can kiss them, you can talk to them and whisper sweet nothings to them, you can moan and groan, your body creates warmth, your hands move, your movements are unique each time, and you exert pressure on her. These are all things unique to you that no vibrator can ever replicate. There is a human aspect that is so random, so unique each time, and so dynamic that it is really something special.
The biggest thing a vibrator cannot do is create an emotional relationship. A vibrator cannot tell you it loves you. It cannot surprise you with gifts, cheer you up when you are sad, it cannot love you, it cannot make you feel safe, special, or excited. These are all human things. And sex is so much more than just an orgasm. Sex is about a connection to someone. It is about an expression of your feelings. It is about intimacy. Again these are all qualities that you have that are far more important than a vibrator. When you ask someone what the most important part of their relationship is, no one says the number of orgasms they have. And that is really why a vibrator cannot replace you, because it cannot create a relationship.
Communication
Now I can tell you a bunch of reasonable, logical things, but chances are there is still going to be some doubt in the back of your mind. You are still going to have that emotional response that makes you want to smash that infernal toy. The only way you are really going to get rid of that anxiety is to sit down and talk with your partner. You need to have a heart to heart and share your insecurities. Feel free to say they are unreasonable and you want them to go away. Feel free to share your worries and your feelings. That is fine. If she is truly an understanding partner, she is going to explain how you will never be replaced. She can calm those insecurities and help you understand the things she personally likes about you best. If you are jealous at all, sit down and have a conversation. It will do so much to help you understand what she likes about sex, what she likes about you, and chances are afterwards you are going to have even better sex than before.
What Happens When you Introduce A Vibrator?
Something to think about is what happens after you introduce a vibrator. From personal experience, friend’s experiences, and online reading, it is that vibrators actually increase the amount of sex you have. You might be asking yourself how that is possible. Well the more of a good thing you have the more you want of it. How often do you have an amazing dessert and think about it for the next day? How often do you get a craving for something super delicious? Well the same thing happens with a vibrator. A vibrator makes sex better. It creates a “we.” You create a compliment. It works great for foreplay. It works great during your refractory period. It lets you have clitoral and vaginal stimulation simultaneously. And when the two of you experience better sex, you want more sex. You get a taste of something amazing and it is always on your mind. It draws you back again and again. So realize that a vibrator will not replace you, but it will in fact make you more valuable than you used to be. You now become more desirable.
So if you have vibrator envy, realize you are unique and a vibrator will never replace you. It will only ever compliment you. Realize that you likely need to sit down and share your fears and work through them. And also realize a vibrator might get you lucky more often.