Anal Sex: How To Get Started

Anal Sex: How To Get Started

Okay, so let’s say you and your husband are into anal play, and you want to take it a step further. You are both comfortable with the idea of anal sex, but you feel like you need some pointers to help you get started.

“Here are some things to keep in mind when you are ready to try anal sex:”

— Amy Barbour

Anal sex is easily achieved by some couples, but a little harder for others. It can be difficult to learn to accommodate your husband’s penis. Most women need to start out with something smaller and work their way up to it.

Use copious amounts of lube. I cannot stress this enough. While the vagina self-lubricates, the same cannot be said of the anus. It will be in your best interest to put lube on both places (your anus and the object being inserted). In fact, if your husband is down there with his fingers or a plug, just tell him to keep the bottle of lube with him!
Start out with your husband’s finger. Seriously. He can easily use a finger cot or glove if he wants. If you like the feelings you get from his finger, then that is a good indication that you may be ready for a little more. If his finger is uncomfortable to you or feels strange when inserted, then you may ultimately not like anal sex. You may be on this stage for one night or several months before you are ready to move on to anything else.
Move up to a small anal plug. Anal plugs come in so many sizes now and are relatively inexpensive. You and your husband can even pick one out online discreetly to avoid potential embarrassment of physically going to the toy store (although I think that’s part of the fun!) You can also try having your husband try and insert two fingers at this point. The goal here is to get your anus used to something slightly larger fitting in there. Again, some of you may have absolutely no problem with this stage either, or it may feel kind of foreign to you. Make sure that you experience having an orgasm while trying this, so you’ll know what you are getting yourself into! (Remember to use tons of lube!)When you feel you are ready to try full-blown anal sex, then start slowly. You may be surprised at the difference in size between an anal plug and your husband’s erect penis. I will tell you that getting the head in is the biggest hurdle, and after that it’s easier. Just go slowly and start out with very shallow mini-thrusts. By that, I mean to just barely thrust enough to get most of the head in. When you feel like you are able to take more in, then take it a little further. Remember to add more lube each time you take in another inch. Make sure you are in a comfortable position. Some positions are tighter for anal sex and other positions are more relaxed and may work better for you. So if you aren’t able to achieve penetration in one position, it’s possible that another may work for you. Here are some good positions we have that work for anal sex:Rear Entry
Standing T
Doggie Variation
The Screw
Recovery Position

If it feels uncomfortable to you, stop. Do not force it if it hurts. You could potentially damage yourself.
I encourage you to take it slowly, and don’t get upset if it doesn’t work immediately. Some things take time, patience, and practice. Once you have it down, try adding a vibe to your clitoris at the same time! Many women who like anal sex, also like experiencing double penetration as well, so that may be something worth looking into.

If you and your husband are interested in anal sex, then you’ll also need to decide on going bareback or wearing a condom. The use of a condom is cleaner, and you can always remove the condom for regular vaginal intercourse afterwards. If you decide to go without one, just remember that you should never re-insert his penis (or finger) into your vagina after it has been in your anus. That is a sure fire way to spread bacteria and get an infection.

So talk to your spouse about your expectations and/or concerns. Make sure that you are both comfortable with whatever decisions are made. You may try this only to find that one or both of you don’t like it. If that’s the case, then there are hundreds of other ideas and positions to try. Pray about it, take it slow, and HAVE FUN!