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I didn’t care for the original name I came up with for this page (Toys 101, creative huh?) so I changed it. I kind of like this but let it be known that it’s just a cute name. This is no official document. It’s just a collection of information that I think every sex toy enthusiast should know. I’m not an expert by any means and while I may have a misanthropic steak about me that doesn’t mean I want people getting sick from their sex toys. I believe we should respect our bodies and be discerning about the toys we play with. And as toxic as some sex toys can be, maybe they should come with anMSDS.
So, I’ll mix it up a little between the facts that are generally accepted out there in sex toy land but I’ll also throw in my opinion here and there. It’s my blog. I can do that, right? I just don’t want to steer anyone in the wrong direction. I want you all to know what you need to, to make good decisions.
This page will always be a work in progress. I will start with what I already know. As I learn more or, find out I’m wrong about something, I’ll update it. When I don’t know enough about something, I’ll refer to someone who does. So, let’s get started.
At the very top of the list of criteria you use to choose a sex toy, the first one ought to be, material. The material the toy is made of dictates everything about how you can safely use it and how you care for and clean it. I’ll start with what I believe are the best choices:
Silicone
Stainless Steel
Glass
Hard Plastic
I list these materials at the top because of their safety, durability, and hygienic properties. These four materials are all nonporous and phthalates free. You want a toy to be nonporous because that means you can sterilize it. There are no microscopic holes in the material for bacteria to accumulate in and grow. This means that toys made of these materials can be safely shared, if sterilized between users, and the toy can be used vaginally and anally but only if it is sterilized after being in the ass, before going into the vagina. Remember, vagina to ass is OK. Ass to vagina, you’re asking for an infection. Also, no matter the material, a sex toy needs to be thoroughly washed prior to it’s first use. So let me break it down on these materials.
Silicone
If you want a squishier more pliable toy than the other three materials listed, then Silicone would be your choice. It actually comes in a wide range of firmness and finish. As mentioned before, silicone is phthalates free and nonporous1. It’s generally a good idea to limit your exposure to phthalates as studies are beginning to show that they can lead to organ failure and possibly cause cancer. Phthalates are chemicals used to soften plastics. They are present in some sex toy materials but not in pure silicone. Silicone is hypoallergenic.
Being nonporous and heat resistant, you can sterilize silicone toys in a number of ways including, boiling for a few minutes, washing in a 10% bleach solution, washing in the top rack of your dishwasher*, or simply lathering it up well in antibacterial soap and rinsing clean. If your silicone toy has a vibrator motor inside then don’t boil it or put it in the dishwasher. The heat will ruin the motor.
Silicone is a great sex toy material but it does have a drawback. You’re limited in your choice of lubricant. The hard and fast rule is to never use silicone based lube with silicone toys. Only use water based lube. If you don’t want to ruin your toy, that’s the best way to go. However, I have been hearing rumblings amongst sex bloggers that sometimes silicone lube can be used with silicone toys. Apparently they can be compatible when both are of very high quality silicone. It is said that you can test a small, out of the way area, of your sex toy by rubbing a little silicone lube on it. If there’s going to be a reaction, it will happen right away and what you’ll feel and see is that the test spot gets gooey and sticky. If this happens you’re supposed to scrape off the test area and then wash it really well in soap and water. If you want to experiment with your toys and lubes feel free to do this. I just generally stick with water based lubes and call it a day.
For the same reason that silicone lube and silicone toys aren’t compatible (except for when they are), you shouldn’t store these toys where they are touching each other. It will damage the surface of both toys where they were touching.** A good rule of thumb is to have some kind of storage bag for each of your silicone toys. A lot of them come with their own pouches and it’s fine to store them in there. For the ones that don’t, I just use ziplock style bags. Just make sure the toys are thoroughly dry before you seal them up in plastic bags. Any moisture left in there can lead to mold growth.
Stainless Steel
If ever there was a durable sex toy material, stainless steel would definitely be it. Steel toys like those made by Njoy, are solid, heavy chunks of metal. The mirror polish finish on these toys makes a little lube go a long way and you can use any lube you like with steel. You can disinfect steel toys the same ways you can with silicone: boiling, 10% bleach solution, top rack dishwasher or antibacterial soap. About the only way you can harm steel toys is if you use something abrasive to clean them. That will mar the polished finish.
About the only downfall I can find with steel, and it has nothing to do with it’s safety or hygienic properties, is that it tends to be heavy and people with joint problems, etc might find it tiring to use them. Also, they obviously aren’t going to have any give so thrusting needs to be done with caution.
Njoy toys are cast in 316 grade stainless steel and made from medical grade materials. There is an issue I’ve been wondering about but haven’t found much information on concerning the grade of steel used to make toys. It’s my understanding that the only steel that can be counted on to be nickle free is medical grade. I would hope that all manufacturers are using nickle free steel.*** If you have a nickle allergy, you might want to take the extra step and contact the manufacturer to find out.
Glass
Many people are skeptical of using glass sex toys. The truth is, it’s a great material to make toys out of. Glass toys are nonporous and phthalates free so, no worries there. Clean it in all the same ways you would clean steel or silicone with the exception of boiling, where you’d want to put a hand towel in the pot to cushion the toy and keep it from hitting against the sides and possibly chipping.
The material used in glass toys is the same stuff that Pyrex cookware is made of, boroscillicate glass.**** This means that it is very durable and does not break easily. Believe me, even if you have the strongest PC muscles in the world, you’re not going to break a glass toy inside of you. You do have to be careful of chipping it if you drop it onto a hard surface. And if it does get chipped, stop using it. You don’t want to risk injury. Inspect your glass toy for chips prior to every use. Glass sex toys are compatible with any lube and you’ll find you need very little.
Ceramic and Wood
Both are nonporous and phthalates free materials. The wood is sealed with a finish that is nonporous and body safe. You shouldn’t put either of them in the dishwasher or boil them but other sanitation methods can be used. Solvents of any kind should not be used on wood sex toys. It will damage the finish. All types of lube are compatible with ceramic and wood.
Hard Plastic
It’s nonporous and phthalates free. Any lube can be used. It can be sterilized by a number of means but shouldn’t be boiled and I’d keep plastic toys out of the dishwasher.
Aluminum
I almost forgot to include aluminum. Some toys are being made from it now and it can be considered a safe, nonporous, phthalates free material. Any lube can be used and it can be cared for like stainless steel. One advantage it has over steel is its lighter weight.
Choose a sex toy made of the above materials, take proper care of it and observe safe sex toy practices and your toy should last a long time and you’ll stay safe and healthy. The following are the more dubious sex toy materials and if I had to make a blanket statement about them, I’d just recommend staying away from them. Some might be OK if the labeling on the box is honest and accurate and if you adhere to proper hygiene. But for me, there’s just too much uncertainty with these materials.
I’ll run down a list of these materials and they get less hygienic and possibly more dangerous as you go down the list. With all of these, it’s generally best to use with a condom when sharing or, in some cases, even when used just by one person. I’m not completely current on these materials since I usually avoid them so, I’ll reference Lilly’s blog where she’s compiled a comprehensive material reference.
Elastomed (not to be confused with Elastomer)
Nonporous and phthalates free.
Thermoplastic Rubber: TPR, TPE, Elastomer
Some is nonporous, others are not. Probably phthalates free. Better choice than jelly rubber.
Silicone Blends: TPR Silicone, CyberSilicone
Even though a small amount of silicone might be present (more likely, there is none) in these toys, they are porous. They are probably phthalates free. The concept of a silicone blend product is really one invented by some manufacturers. They want to attract the consumer to the word “silicone” on the box, making them think that the toy is made of a safe material. These toys should be used with caution. Who knows what they’re are really made of.
Various “skin” or realistic materials: Often going by names such as Cyberskin or Ultraskin.
Porous and may contain phthalates. Should not be shared without a condom. Limited cleaning options, usually mild soap and water except, in the case of where not even soap can be used. It is recommended that Fleshlight material be rinsed with water and occasionally rubbing alcohol can be used. Many of these products need to be coated in a very fine dusting of cornstarch to preserve the feel of the material. Only water based lubricant can be used with these materials.
PVC, Jelly, Rubber, Latex
These are the materials I would stay away from. They are all porous. They most likely all contain phthalates in addition to other irritating chemicals that people can have bad reactions to. Not only should you always use condoms over these when sharing but even when you just use it by yourself. You want a barrier between your delicate skin and and that toxic soup. You shouldn’t use oil based lube with these but silicone or water based should be fine. But here’s where my opinion comes in, just save up your money a little bit and get quality silicone sex toys instead.
And because you can’t always trust what the manufacturer puts on the box, it’s important that we have a means to get definitive answers. That’s what Dildology.org is doing so, we all need to give them our support.
Vibrators should be stored with the batteries removed. If you store them for long periods of time with the batteries inside, they can corrode and ruin the toy. It’s good to remove the batteries when traveling as well. Anything with a vibrator inside that can’t be removed should not be boiled and I advise against using the dishwasher.
Safe anal sex toys
Not all sex toys should be inserted anally. This is because items without a flared base can get sucked up into the rectum, where it cannot be reached and requires emergency medical treatment for removal. There are plenty of sex toys made specifically for insertion into the anus. They are safe because they have a flared base that is at least 2” across. The base acts as a stop and keeps the toy from slipping too far up. Another consideration with anal play is lubrication. Use a lot of it. If you think you have enough, use even more than that. This is because the anus and rectum do not self lubricate like a vagina and without supplemental lubrication, it is easy to tear the delicate tissues. Here’s another one of my opinions: porous materials should never be used in anal toys. Why use something in your ass that can’t be sterilized? And always remember: mouth to ass is OK, vagina to ass is OK, ass to anywhere else is not OK. I don’t care what they do in porn. It’s a bad idea.
A word on Lube
There are two common lube ingredients that I want to call attention to here. The first is glycerin. The other is parabens. Glycerin is a sugar derivative and that can be a bad thing to introduce into the vagina. It ferments at body temperature and can lead to yeast infections.
Parabens are a class of chemicals widely used as preservatives by cosmetic and pharmaceutical companies. They fall under the category of “nasty shit we ought to stay away from”. Some people are allergic to them and can have skin reactions. Also, parabens are being found in breast tumors. Some parabens have a demonstrated ability to mimic estrogen. Methylparaben applied to the skin, may react with UVB leading to increased skin aging and DNA damage.
It’s hard to limit our exposure to them though. Just take a look through your health and beauty products and you’ll find them everywhere. So, we should probably avoid them when possible and using a lube that doesn’t include them makes good sense. Sliquid is an often recommended lube that does not have glycerin or parabens.
As I said, I’ll constantly revise this page whenever I learn something new, I find out that I’m wrong (hey, it happens) or when new information becomes available from the industry.
1Silicone is actually a porous material. Confused yet? The holes are just very small (bacteria and viruses cannot get into them) and there is a low density of them.
*The thing with using the dishwasher, that is often not mentioned elsewhere, is that you should not use any kind of detergent and the toys are only properly sanitized if your dishwasher has a sanitize cycle. Mine doesn’t, so I’d never put my sex toys in there. Besides, I wouldn’t want my sex toys in there with the dishes and you can’t use detergent anyway. So, it would seem like such a waste of water and electricity to run the washer just to clean a few toys that you could easily wash in the sink with soap.
**If your toys are made out of high grade pure silicone, like Tantus uses, the toys will not be damaged by touching in storage. If you’re unsure, it’s best to give them all their own pouch.
***Caution should be used when buying stainless steel toys from merchants on Amazon or Ebay. Apparently, some of them are knockoffs and the composition of the metal is questionable. Also, it’s been brought to my attention that Pipedream’s MetalWorx toys are probably not pure, solid stainless steel.
****Some smaller, artisan glass toy companies, like Fucking Sculptures, are using a material called “soda-lime glass”. It is reportedly, just as durable as boroscillicate glass but it might not withstand the temperature of boiling water or the dishwasher.
Question
I’ve started a new relationship with a man and it turns out he wants me to give him anal pleasure. I’ve only ever been with one guy before who liked it and it was a very short relationship so we didn’t dabble that much. I know things like keeping my nails short and using lube but after that I am pretty clueless! I know how I like my ass played with but that’s me, and I’m a woman – I have no idea what I am doing with a man. Could you possibly explain how to give anal pleasure to a man, or some kind of beginner’s guide? Some helpful top tips would be really awesome! Hoping you can help.
– Anon
Answer
Hi there and thanks for your question. Anal play is a sensitive subject (pun entirely intended) for all parties involved. As you may be aware, the tissue and lining inside the anal area is quite thin and prone to tears and rips if not treated with the utmost respect.
I hope that this short guide to giving a man anal pleasure has helped – good luck and enjoy your anal adventures together.
Anal sex is an art form of sexual encounters. When done right it can be highly erotic, when done wrong it can turn you or your lover off from anal sex forever. Being safe is one of the keys to ensuring that you get the most out of your anal experience.
There’s nothing complicated about anal sex safety. Yet, in the zealousness of the moment, it’s often overlooked. Unlike PIV sex, spontaneity with anal sex isn’t always a good choice. Instead a bit of planning and preparation can go a long way.
Comfort
Having lube on hand is a must. Since your anus doesn’t create its own lubrication like the vagina does, you’ll need to reapply lube as you play. Lube will keep everything slick and gliding smoothly. How much lube is too much? There’s no such thing. Too little lube, things will drag and pull as you play. Believe me, it doesn’t feel erotic at all. What kind of lube should you use? Water based lube is always the best choice. Because it’s body and condom safe, there’s little to no chance of irritation. When using water based lube, keep in mind that the body absorbs it making reapplying necessary. Also when choosing a lube, remember that silicone oil based lubricant can break down condoms and cause them to tear while being used.
Having manicured nails is also an aspect to consider. Jagged, rough or hang nails can irritate or tare the thin mucus membrane of the rectum. The same goes for toys used in the anus, be sure that they’re free from sharp edges or texture that might irritate the rectum. Also, keep in mind that anything you put in your ass should be made for it. Toys with flared bases ensure that they don’t slip too far in the anus.
Cleanliness
Although not directly related to safety, having a bowl movement the day you plan on having anal sex will cut down on the chance of an accident. Using an anal douche a few hours before you play can also be used to ensure that’s there’s no accidents.
Because the rectum contains bacteria, condoms are a great choice to keep everything clean. They can even be used over your toys. Not only good for cleanliness, condoms will protect you from STD’s.
Latex condoms are anal safe. So are pre-lubricated condoms. However, condoms that are lubricated with nonoxynol-9, often found in some lubricants and used to kill HIV and STD’s , should be avoided. Although it was once widely recommended, now we know that it’s often too harsh for the soft tissue of the rectum.
Condoms today come with a lot of bells or whistles. Many designed for her pleasure are not the best choice for anal sex because the texture can be irritating.
Never share fingers, toys or a dick between your anus and vagina. The anus contains bacteria which can cause infection. Therefore, anything that’s put in the anus should be thoroughly cleaned before sharing it with another area your lover’s body. Using a glove for fingers or a condom over toys, makes it a lot easier to clean up and continue playing.
I always use silicone, glass, metal or wood toys for anal play. They are non-porous, so they don’t harbor bacteria, and are easy to clean with a bit of anti-bacterial soap and water.
Anal sex is an erotic experience for both lovers. Yet, many people avoid it with a ten foot pole because of fears or a past bad experience. Being knowledgeable about the finer points of anal pleasure helps you be a better lover and creates an experience that both you and lover are sure to want more of.
Communicate with your lover, be safe and take things slow and you’re anal sex experience should leave you wanting it again and again.
When it comes to anal play, there’s a lot of information about toys that are fun to use. Unfortunately, there isn’t much about what not to use. Inspired by Ducky Doolittle’s Tantus 2.0 class, I thought this was an important subject to cover and wanted to share some thoughts about safe anal stimulation with you.
Tantus Plugs Many toys look perfect for anal play; however there are many aspects to consider when choosing toys for anal stimulation. Choosing the right toy is important for anal stimulation and can often times be the difference between a fun and erotic experience and a bad one.
One of the most common toys used by beginners is anal beads. Although these are inexpensive and look like fun, they are not the best choice. Anal beads tend to be simply round balls on a string and there can be a few risks involved using them. For instance, the string can come untied, leaving a bead inside of you. Also, after being used, the string can’t be properly cleaned and will harbor bacteria. Also, because anal beads are just that beads which can be a bit painful when inserted and removed. Because they are blunt rather than tapered, they force the sphincter muscles to open suddenly. Often times, this can cause pressure, discomfort or even a slight pain when they are removed.
A much better choice that gives the same sensations as anal beads is the Ripple. Designed by Tantus, it is made from pure silicon and the beads are elliptical. Being made from silicone the Ripple is just like your silicone cookware and can be completely sterilized after you play. Also, the beads are elliptical. This allows the beads to gently open your sphincter muscle and then it closes around the neck between each bead. Because the neck has a bit of girth to it, your muscles don’t clamp down and tight once the bead is in allowing your muscles to stay slightly open and ready for the next bead to be slipped it. With this type of toy, you can choose to insert a couple beads or all of them. They even offer a small and large version of the Ripple for both new and experienced users.
Another mistake that’s often made when choosing a toy for anal play that has a blunt head. Although some may appear to be perfect for prostate massage, toys designed like this can cause a vacuum inside your rectum causing pain or injury when it’s removed. A much better choice is toys that have a tapered head. Not only are they easier to insert, the difference in diameter doesn’t create suction while you’re playing. There are some toys such as the Prostate Health Vibrator, by Tantus, that appears to have a flat head, however there is a slope along the edges that makes it totally safe for anal play. A close inspection of your will reveal whether it’s a true flat surface or not. If you can’t tell from the image you’re looking at online while you shop, Google the toy and search images to get a clear view of the toy you are considering.
When using a toy, be sure that it doesn’t have sharp edges or seams. Some toys have seams that are left behind from manufacturing and are not smoothed down properly. While this doesn’t pose a huge risk when used vaginally, they can damage the thin lining of your rectum by tearing or scratching mucus membrane.
Always make sure that the toy you are using for anal penetration has a flared base. The rectum will suck a toy in while you are playing. Don’t believe me? Slide your finger in and notice how the sphincter draws it into further, the same thing happens with your toy. Toys without a flared base pose the risk of being sucked in all the way making removal next to impossible. A flared base stops at the outer sphincter and acts like a stopper.
Another thing to consider when choosing an anal toy is the material that they are made out of. Some toys are made from PVC, rubber or even jelly. While they may be inexpensive, they pose a few risks. Toys made from material such as these have moving molecules inside of them and the chemicals seep out through the pores. This is why some toys will have a strong odor when you open their box. Many times, people’s sensitive tissue has a chemical reaction to them causing a burning sensation and even chemical burns. I always suggest choosing silicone for all of your anal pleasure. Silicone is non-porous and doesn’t have moving molecules. They have neither smell nor taste, are completely body safe, and bacteria can’t hide and grow in them. Also, silicone is easy to clean up. It can be washed with dawn dish soap, boiled or even placed on the top rack of your dishwasher to be cleaned. However, when washing your toys in the dishwasher, don’t use detergent because it can leave behind a light film causing you to have an adverse reaction. If you adore the texture or feeling of jelly toys, I suggest placing a condom over your toy before using it anally. A condom will protect you from the chemicals and will protect your toy from getting bacteria down into its pores.
Please, never use household items inside of you. In the heat of the moment it may seem like a good idea. However, they are simply not safe. Tubes of tooth paste, shaving cream cans, the handle of a brush, bottles, or anything else you might find lying around truly can harm your body for various reasons. Sharp edges, lack of a proper base, creating suction and other issues can occur.
Hubby and I both want you to be safe while you explore the pleasures of anal stimulation. A trip to the emergency room is something that we deeply desire for you to never have to experience. Choosing toys that are safe is the most important thing you can do to avoid this. Although many toys are marketed for anal play, they’re simply not safe. Please if you ever have a question about a toy, reach out to us or another trusted source to help you decided if it’s safe. There are many sex toy stores online that have a wealth of information to help you make an informed decision and even more sex toy reviewers and educators on Twitter that are always happy to help with any question you may have. Of course, I realize that it may be embarrassing to tweet about sex toys. The DM messaging system is a great way to avoid this or simply search for sex educators online and send them an email through their site’s system. I know that, like me, they’re always happy to help and answer any questions that you may have.
The sexual act of anal penetration is generally misunderstood. Despite the fact that one out of every four women has engaged in anal intercourse, the practice remains taboo.
Many women are nervous to try anal sex because of the many myths and misconceptions surrounding the practice. Let’s take a look at these myths and uncover the truth.
Myth #1 Anal Sex is Only for Homosexuals
That’s absolutely not true. Simply another option for sexual gratification, many heterosexual couples enjoy anal sex on a regular basis. In fact, anal sex has nothing at all to do with sexual identity. A recent study found that 44% of straight men under 50 have had anal sex at least once in their lives.
Myth #2 Anal Sex is Unnatural
Considering that even today many states still have sodomy laws on record, it’s no wonder that anal sex is seen as unnatural. However most of these laws were pushed forward by mainstream religion. Anal sex has been around for centuries and is viewed as acceptable in many cultures. For instance, at the famous Khajurao temples there are beautiful sculptures depicting anal pleasures. In other cultures, women engage in anal sex for pleasure while protecting their virginity for future marriage.
Ultimately, you must decide for yourself what is or isn’t natural. If you’re uncomfortable with any sexual act, don’t do it! You are in charge of what you do sexually.
Myth #3 Anal Sex is Dirty
Early in our childhood we are taught that the anus is dirty and shouldn’t be touch. However with daily hygiene, the anus is as clean as other parts of your body. However, like other parts of the body, the anus contains bacteria. With a little bit of care while playing and good common sense there’s nothing to be concerned about. However, there are a few precautions which you can take to make sure everything is clean while you play; such as, using a condom or an anal douche.
Myth #4 Anal Sex is Painful
If anal sex causes these issues you are doing it wrong. The key to pleasurable anal sex is relaxation and lots of lubrication. Relaxing your external sphincter will make anal penetration easier and more pleasurable; a slight pressure as you relax is common. Also, because the anus doesn’t create natural lubrication, use lots of water based lube to make things more pleasurable. If you learn the proper techniques before you begin experimenting, you may find anal sex enjoyable.
Myth #5 Anal Sex can be Harmful
According to Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, author of “What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex,” anal sex doesn’t cause hemorrhoids, fissures or even tears; under normal circumstances. However, using lube to reduce friction is a must. Also, contrary to popular belief, semen or sperm isn’t harmful to your rectum either.
Others believe that anal sex will make their anus loose leading to inconstancy later in life; untrue. Learning to control the sphincter is helpful not only for anal sex but also when having a bowl movement.
Myth #6 Women Don’t Like It
It’s a common thought that anal sex is only enjoyable for men. Anal sex does take a learning curve; a few times of trying to adjust the angle of penetration, relaxing and speed of thrusting to figure out what you like. Also during the first few moments of penetration, it’s common to feel some pressure. This slight discomfort is well worth the orgasm that often follows.
The anus is full of nerve receptors that also feed the G-spot. Many women report being able to experience a G-spot orgasm, or even a full pelvic orgasm, from anal sex alone.
Myth #7 There’s No Difference Between the Anal Sex and PIV Sex
Thinking that anal sex feels the same as PIV sex for your partner is a misconception. I asked Hubby if it feels different and he said, “Oh, yes.” He described my vagina as being stretchy and full of folds that give varying friction depending on where he’s at inside of me. My rectum, on the other hand, he described as feeling deep, long and velvety smooth; a complete sensation all its own.
Myth #8 I’m Way Too Small
The rectum is a tube which collapses and stretches to accommodate what’s inside of it; it’s not a stretchy pouch like the vagina. Think about the size of your large poop, compared to that I’m sure that your anus will easily stretch enough to accommodate your fellow.
Myth #9 Anal Sex Causes Aids or STD’s
This is absolutely wrong. If both partners are STD free, it’s impossible to contract AIDS. If this is your fear, please educate yourself about the source of AIDS and other STD’s.
When it comes to anal sex, education is your friend. Learning about the different techniques, tips and tricks can be the difference between loving it and hating it. Try to open yourself up to trying new things and take it slow. I’m sure that you’ll find anal sex isn’t as bad as you thought.
Wiki-anal oral sex google imageIf you’re apprehensive about anal sex; you’re not alone. Thousands of women are nervous about trying it. Even more have vowed to never try it again after a bad experience.
Often times, anal sex is thought of as dirty, painful or awkward at the best. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Anal sex can be a highly erotic sexual pleasure with the right approach.
Hygiene
Hygiene is a simple fix. If you have normal firmed bowel movements simply washing with close attention to your bottom should do the trick. For a better cleaning anal douching is an effective choice; visit my article for more about anal douching. Another option is having your partner wear a condom during anal sex. With a condom, clean up is easy in case of an accident.
Warming Up
The number one thing to help you get in the mood for anal sex is warming up your bottom. A sensual booty massage is a great way to help get your bottom relaxed and longing for more attention. Butt plugs are also a dandy little tool. Even the smallest of plug’s work great to relax your anal entrance and reduce the cringe of penetration latter.
To warm things up even more, there are a few intimate tricks that work wonders too. Such as, try using a small vibrator or even a finger to stimulate the tight little hole. Even more erotic is anilingus or anal rimming. During oral sex, visiting down bellow with the tongue and everywhere in-between is a sure way to get ready for more play. Even having a vaginal orgasm before anal sex will make things easier for back door play.
The nitty gritty of anal sex.
The first rule of anal penetration is lube, lube and more lube.
With a generous dab of lube on your little hole and his rod well lubed up, it will slip in easier and smoother. Go slow and have him stop once he’s just a bit inside of you. Breathe and try to relax your muscles; don’t let him move yet.
After a few moments, have him pull back out and re-lube up your bottom and his rod.
Going back in will be a bit easier this time.
However, once again only allow him to go in a little ways and stop. Think about relaxing and take some deep breaths. When you feel comfortable begin to move your hips and enjoy the feeling of him inside of you. After your at ease, allow him to take control and have fun.
Be sure to keep the lube close at hand and have him reapply when needed.
Add extra spice to your anal sex with a clitoral vibe or by using a toy vaginally.
Being intimate in new ways is always a rocky road. Although it may be awkward, exploring new things adds a new dimension to your intimacy and is well worth the journey.
For me personally, I’ve embraced ‘Greek Love’ and enjoy it as much, if not more, than vaginal sex alone. Anal orgasms are some of the best I’ve ever experienced.
I hope these tips help you feel more comfortable and open up to new delights. You never know where the journey may take you.
One of the concerns when embarking on the journey into anal play is cleanliness. Let’s face it as erotic as anal sex is, no one wants to find mud on their hood when they pull out. Often times, this fear or surviving the embarrassment of one bad experience can be enough to detour people from anal sex.
However, with a bit of preparation, there are a few things that can be done to ensure that your anal sex is nothing but good clean fun.
Digestive Health
A diet that’s high in natural fiber (not over processed fibers) and staying hydrated is the number one thing that you can do for digestive tract health. Fiber will cause the feces in your bowels to bind together and come out as a formed solid and drinking the proper amount of water will help things flow on a regular basis.
A quick look at how the digestive track works.
The food that you eat passes through the stomach and into the small intestines. Here nutrients are absorbed into the body. Next it passes into the large intestines where the fluid and remaining nutrients are absorbed into the body. It’s at the bottom of the large intestines where the feces is held until a build up is detected by the nerves which then single the brain that it’s time to expel the feces. The last section is the rectum, which is approximately eight inches long. It’s a common myth that this is the area where feces are held until evacuating. However, in normal circumstances, the rectum is only a passage way out. Typically, people who have normal bowel movements don’t need to worry about internal cleanliness. A simple through washing of the outer anal area is all that’s needed before your play time.
For those who’s bowels are not fully formed, a few little bits may remain in the rectum after defecating. For these situations, anal douching is effective to clean everything out.
Anal Douching
For those who desire a bit more reassurance, anal douching remains the most popular option.
However, there’s great debate over the safety of anal douching. Many experts say that douching washes away much of the protective mucous lining of your rectum, leaving you open to infections. Also, anal douches can irritate or cause small tiny cuts in your anus making you more susceptible to infections. In addition, over use of enemas/douches can interfere with the normal workings of your bowels and possibly lead to your bowels being dependent upon laxatives to function correctly. Most importantly, water is absorbed through bowels and a sudden overload can increase blood volume. This can cause problems for those who suffer from heart or kidney diseases; including heart arrhythmia. Therefore, if you’re not in good health it’s always best to consult your physician before anal douching.
Although there are health concerns, when using anal douches in moderation, it’s believed by many to be the best option to have an overall hygienic anal experience.
How to Anal Douche
The goal of anal douching is to clean the walls of the rectum, not prompt you to have a bowel movement. Therefore, it’s best not to use enemas which contain laxatives or other medications. For anal douching only lukewarm water is needed. Also, a strong force of water or over filling the rectum with water may cause you to have a bowel movement if the water reaches the lower large intestine. When anal douching, only approximately four to eight ounces of water at a time is needed to rinse away anything stuck to the rectal walls.
It’s always best to douche two to four hours before you play. Douching a few hours before anal sex allows your body to expel any extra water and also gives the rectum time to reproduce some of the mucus which was washed away during the rinsing.
To douche, insert the water and hold it in for about ten to twenty seconds. Then, sit on the toilet and allow the water to run back out. Remember, the goal is to simply rinse the rectum’s walls. Repeat this process until the water runs clearish, (Normally the water will never run crystal clear since the mucus lining is also being washed away). Never over douche, since this removes too much of the mucus lining and can cause health problems. I typically douche only two times a few hours before anal sex and have never experienced an embarrassing moment.
Tools To Use
Anal douches can be purchased at most local drug stores. However they are generally marketed under the name ‘rectal syringe’. These are small bulbs with a rounded tip to make insertion easier. They can also be purchased at most sex toy stores. Also, these are also available in travel size and fit in your purse. Perfect to take along on a date or a night out on the town, these allow you to clean yourself for unexpected fun.
Anal douche hoses that attach to your bathtub are also available. However with these, it’s important to make sure that you can control the force of the water flow to ensure that damage to your rectum isn’t caused by the strong force of the water. The safest design is those that work based on gravity and not water force.
An old fashioned douche bag is another option. Although these work well, be sure to only use a small amount of water at a time and to use the anal attachment. The vaginal attachment has small holes which may not do the trick.
Enemas are a convenient, inexpensive and disposable option. However, be sure that the enema you choose is saline water. Again, other types of enemas which contain laxatives or other ingredients that work with your body to alleviate constipation can cause you have a bowel movement at the wrong time; before you play.
There’s no exact science to anal douching. Also, I’m not a medical doctor. These are just some tips and tricks to help you along your anal sex journey and not intended to over ride any medical advice you’ve received. If you experience bleeding, pain or cramping please seek medical attention as this can be a signs of serious injury to your rectum.
With a bit of preparation you can enjoy anal sex without having the fear of an embarrassing moment. The trick is to find what’s right for your body. The more experience you have with anal douching you will find the combination of time and water volume that works right for you.
When you feel clean and confident, you can relax and enjoy yourself during anal sex. I’m sure your partner will also appreciated that you’ve taken the time to cleanse yourself and make him feel more at ease also.
Have fun, relax and enjoy yourself.
In this day and age of sexual acceptance Anal Sex still remains a taboo sexual act. Although many couples thoroughly enjoy it, you don’t find many women willing to admit it. More times than not, when someone mentions Anal Sex it brings to mind gay or bisexual men, rather than something enjoyable between heterosexual couples. Yet, the truth is that more and more women are engaging in Anal Sex and loving it.
When I reveal my secret pleasure to other women, the response is generally the same, “How can you enjoy that?” and “Doesn’t it hurt?” My answer never changes, “It only hurts for a moment, but the pleasure is well worth a little cringe.”
Hubby and I have been enjoying Anal Sex regularly for a few years now. After I learned to relax and breathe when he enters my rear, I become rather addicted to it. Although I absolutely love the sensations when I feel him deep inside of me, I’ve never experienced a true anal orgasm. That is, until the other night.
That’s right, an anal orgasm isn’t just for men; women can enjoy them too.
As we all know, everyone’s body is different and experience pleasures uniquely. Yet for most women, the anus is very active during a PIV (penis in vagina) orgasm, you just might not know it. During an orgasm the sphincter muscles are clenching and relaxing, those contractions stimulate the sensitive nerve endings in both the vagina and anus and often times make your orgasm even better.
How can this be, you ask? The anus is flooded with nerve endings most of which move through the Pudendal Nerve, which is the same nerve that serves the clitoris. Further inside of the rectum, stimulation will be picked up by the same nerves that responds to stimulation of the inner vagina the cervix; the Pelvic Nerve. Stimulating these nerves can cause a deep and throbbing sensation inside both the vagina and anus. With many tiny branches of these nerves surrounding and connecting to the anus, it’s easy to see why Anal Sex is enjoyable.
If you haven’t experience an anal orgasm, extra stimulation is an excellent way to help you achieve one. While having Anal Sex, all of your erogenous zones are exposed and easy to access. Try stimulating your clit or even using a vibrator inside your vagina, since all of the nerves are connected it should help to send you into bliss. You can even enlist the help of your lover to help provide extra stimulation.
While having Anal Sex the nerves will fire and its muscles will contract acting like the vagina. However, the rectum isn’t self lubricating. Therefore, extra lubrication is needed while having Anal Sex for things to be more enjoyable.
Explore, be safe and have fun. I’m sure you’ll find yourself loving anal orgasms as much as me.