I’ll never forget the first time Hubby and I were intimate. He was amazing, but that’s not what stuck in my memory for years after; it was what he said.
While giving him fellatio, my tongue found its way near his anus, the next thing I knew he was whispering “oh yes, please” and he asked me to put my finger inside of him. I was freaked out, to say the least. I never did as he asked and for years after that night I avoided that area of his body at all costs.
After I began to loosen up sexually I started to realize the value that there is in self sexual exploration. Learning how our bodies react to various types of stimulation is an important part of discovering our sexuality. Looking back on it now, I’m happy that Hubby explored his own body and figured out what he like and how he liked it long before we started our journey into pegging and prostate massage.
That’s right, not only for women, men can also benefit greatly from self exploration and masturbation. It’s common for men to masturbate as young teens and throughout their lives. However that’s not the only area that can be explored. The prostate is a highly erogenous zone that deserves exploring also. All too often, there are perceived stigmas that accompany any type of male anal exploration. It’s unfortunate that with all the scientific information showing the benefits and enjoyment of prostate massage, that anal exploration is still thought of as something only experienced between two men. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Exploring yourself before introducing this type of stimulation to your partner can help to ease these perceptions. Also it has other benefits. Suck as, becoming comfortable with your body and overcoming any awkwardness that you may feel.
Hubby discovered his prostate as a young teen and has enjoyed self stimulation for many years before I opened up to anal play. Here’s his advice to those who are new to male anal sex.
anal sex inage
~Become acquainted with your body~
Hubby suggests taking time to become acquainted with your body in a relaxed environment during a time when you know there won’t be any interruptions. It’s always nice to start off by jumping in the shower or taking a warm bath first. Not only for hygiene purposes, the warm water also helps relax your body. In your private area lock the door and dim the lights to create a relaxed and safe environment; try turning on the radio. Stretch out on the bed and find a comfortable position. Pillows can be help support your body or placed underneath you knees to help make access to your anal area easier.
Once you’re comfortable, take some deep breaths. Deep breathing is an important part of relaxing your mind and body; it even helps relax your anal sphincter. Take your time, there’s no rush. After you’re relaxed, begin by gently massaging your butt. Start off at the top of your cheeks and slowly work your way down. If you have a hand held mirror, try using it to watch your anus during this process. This will help you become familiar with how your body reacts to to the stimulation. You’ll notice your anus relaxing and loosing up as you massage. Stretch your cheeks apart as you massage to help the outer sphincter relax even more. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. The goal is to relax and become acquainted with how your body reacts to being touched.
After you feel comfortable, move on to massaging directly around and on your anus. Take your time and enjoy these sensations. Don’t feel like you have to move quickly. In one session it’s completely acceptable to stop at this point, there’s no rule that says you have to move any further.
*Hint* Try using a bit of lube to help your fingers glide over and around your anus and perineum area.
When exploring penetration for the first time, it’s always best to start out with your finger. Wearing a glove will make insertion smoother and aid in cleanliness. Another key to ensuring that your experience is enjoyable is using lots of lube. Water based lubricant is usually the best choice and Hubby swears by Liquid Silk.
Warm yourself up by massaging your anus; don’t forget to take deep breaths. Deep breathing truly helps to relax both the external and internal sphincters. When you’re ready, slowly slip in one finger. Notice how your muscles contract both externally and internally. Hubby suggests sitting for a few moments while breathing deep, taking time to relax before moving on. At any time, if your exploration hurts, stop immediately. Nothing about this process should be painful; however, a slight burning sensation is normal.
When you’re comfortable, begin to slowly move your finger in and out. You can experiment with moving your finger around in circles, inserting it deep, or even reaching around to find your p-spot. As you relax, you may want to try slowly inserting another finger. Take your time and help your sphincter muscles relax. Relaxing is a key to having a truly pleasurable experience.
As you explore your prostate and anal sex, you may want to try using toys. When choosing a toy, there are a few things to take into consideration. First and foremost, be sure that your toy has a flared base to keep it from slipping up into your rectum. Also, to help your toy stay in while you play, be sure that it has a long tapered neck. Necks that are to short tend to pop out while you play.
The number one toy that I suggest for beginners is the Small Silk by Tantus. Its two finger size and slender slope is ideal for anal virgins. Made from pure silicone, it’s easy to sterilize making it safe for anal play. However it’s not made to stay in by its self while you play.
Butt plugs are designed to say in while you play. They keep the sphincter open and can be very useful as a warming up tool for pegging play latter. Hubby adores his B.S. is Nice Capsule; from ThatPositon. It works great to warm him up, gives him a full feeling during sex and also works well to hit his prostate.
Prostate Massagers are designed to apply stimulation directly to the prostate gland with their curved shaft. The often come as vibrators for added p-spot stimulation. Rocks-Off has Hubby’s favorite; Cheeky-Boy. With a bulberouse shaft and a perineum massage built in along with it’s perfect shape; this toy gets a lot of use at our house.
~Hubby’s Last Thoughts~
Hubby’s #1 piece of advice is to go slow and enjoy yourself. When starting out and warming up, what Hubby enjoys the most is having a finger or small toy sitting shallow inside of him as he does kegeal grips; the tightening sensation around something is highly stimulating.
Use lots of lube. There is never such a thing as too much lube. Massaging around your anus, paying close attention to the lower area of your anal rim, will help to relax your external sphincter and reduce the stretching feeling.
Choose the right position for you. Some positions feel better than others; Hubby suggests trying with one leg propped up on a pillow or rolled over on your left side. There is no wrong or right position. Trying different angles can make things a lot more pleasurable.
There shouldn’t be any stigma associated with exploring your prostate or anal sex. Lots of women enjoy anal sex, why shouldn’t men too. Their bodies are wired the same. Very similar to the female G-spot the prostate and anus are highly erogenous zones. Filled with nerves, stimulation is not only enjoyable it can produce an orgasm unlike anything you’ve experience before. It’s true, I promise.
Exploring your body alone or with your lover, it’s common to feel nervous the first few times. Creating the proper environment and starting out with other types of stimulation will help you relax and go with the flow of the enjoyment. If you’re experimenting with a partner, anal rimming during oral sex is always a great way to warm things up.
Hubby and I both wish you the best of luck on your journey. We hope that you will take time to explore your body and become comfortable with your sexuality. Most of all, enjoy yourself. Remember there is no wrong or right way to enjoy any type of kinky pleasure.