Thinking back over the years that I’ve been sexually active, sex was always a quick thing. A little kissing and maybe some oral sex and then ‘wam bam thank you ma’am’. Sex wasn’t something that was savored. It was more of , ‘are you done yet?’ If sex lasted thirty minutes it was to long for me.

Then at forty, a whole new world opened up to me. I learned that sex is fun and I wanted to have it every day to make up for the lost time. But at our age, things don’t always work like you want them to and everyday was a bit much to ask from my disabled husband. Desire is the mother is innovation and we figured out that rather than trying to have sex every day, we could play for hours at a time on the days that Hubby’s back felt up to it.

Quality over quantity became our theory. No more quickies for us, our sex became an event that lasts for hours. Of course, it’s not all penetration. But with creative foreplay mixed with a bit of BDSM, we’ve learned how to make sex last as long as we desire.

Want to enjoy marathon sex in your bedroom? Here’s a few tips to help you stretch out your play time.

Creative Foreplay

Go beyond a little kissing and get creative with your foreplay. Some of our favorite things are sensual massages using our bodies rather than just our hands, oral sex, stimulating your partner with your hands or fingers, spanking and other kinky activities, or using sex toys on each other.

Switching It Up

Sex isn’t all about intercourse. Going from foreplay to intercourse and back to foreplay again is a great way to keep things going. It not only keeps your lover on their toes with erotic surprises, it also prolongs your orgasm (for males) or opens up the door for multiple orgasms.

Accepting Breaks

Interruptions tend to happen. Whether it’s the kids, your lover loses their erection or you just need a time out for a potty break; interruptions don’t have to mean the end of your fun. During these times, try masturbating to keep your excitement level up.

Something New

Using BDSM or role play is the perfect way to keep things exciting. Sensation play, bondage, spanking or even switching roles can help extend your sessions. Whether it’s sensual BDSM or hard-core scenes, being kinky can be just what you need to help you have marathon sexual encounters.

The best thing to happen to my sex life is discovering that sex is fun and can last as long as you desire for it to. What works for me, might not work for you. But, being creative and exploring different things can be the key you need to take your sexual encounters from a quickie to an explosive encounter that just keeps going and going until you’re completely satisfied on many levels.

Anal sex is an art form of sexual encounters. When done right it can be highly erotic, when done wrong it can turn you or your lover off from anal sex forever. Being safe is one of the keys to ensuring that you get the most out of your anal experience.

There’s nothing complicated about anal sex safety. Yet, in the zealousness of the moment, it’s often overlooked. Unlike PIV sex, spontaneity with anal sex isn’t always a good choice. Instead a bit of planning and preparation can go a long way.


Having lube on hand is a must. Since your anus doesn’t create its own lubrication like the vagina does, you’ll need to reapply lube as you play. Lube will keep everything slick and gliding smoothly. How much lube is too much? There’s no such thing. Too little lube, things will drag and pull as you play. Believe me, it doesn’t feel erotic at all. What kind of lube should you use? Water based lube is always the best choice. Because it’s body and condom safe, there’s little to no chance of irritation. When using water based lube, keep in mind that the body absorbs it making reapplying necessary. Also when choosing a lube, remember that silicone oil based lubricant can break down condoms and cause them to tear while being used.

Having manicured nails is also an aspect to consider. Jagged, rough or hang nails can irritate or tare the thin mucus membrane of the rectum. The same goes for toys used in the anus, be sure that they’re free from sharp edges or texture that might irritate the rectum. Also, keep in mind that anything you put in your ass should be made for it. Toys with flared bases ensure that they don’t slip too far in the anus.


Although not directly related to safety, having a bowl movement the day you plan on having anal sex will cut down on the chance of an accident. Using an anal douche a few hours before you play can also be used to ensure that’s there’s no accidents.

Because the rectum contains bacteria, condoms are a great choice to keep everything clean. They can even be used over your toys. Not only good for cleanliness, condoms will protect you from STD’s.

Latex condoms are anal safe. So are pre-lubricated condoms. However, condoms that are lubricated with nonoxynol-9, often found in some lubricants and used to kill HIV and STD’s , should be avoided. Although it was once widely recommended, now we know that it’s often too harsh for the soft tissue of the rectum.

Condoms today come with a lot of bells or whistles. Many designed for her pleasure are not the best choice for anal sex because the texture can be irritating.

Never share fingers, toys or a dick between your anus and vagina. The anus contains bacteria which can cause infection. Therefore, anything that’s put in the anus should be thoroughly cleaned before sharing it with another area your lover’s body. Using a glove for fingers or a condom over toys, makes it a lot easier to clean up and continue playing.

I always use silicone, glass, metal or wood toys for anal play. They are non-porous, so they don’t harbor bacteria, and are easy to clean with a bit of anti-bacterial soap and water.

Anal sex is an erotic experience for both lovers. Yet, many people avoid it with a ten foot pole because of fears or a past bad experience. Being knowledgeable about the finer points of anal pleasure helps you be a better lover and creates an experience that both you and lover are sure to want more of.

Communicate with your lover, be safe and take things slow and you’re anal sex experience should leave you wanting it again and again.

When it comes to anal play, there’s a lot of information about toys that are fun to use. Unfortunately, there isn’t much about what not to use. Inspired by Ducky Doolittle’s Tantus 2.0 class, I thought this was an important subject to cover and wanted to share some thoughts about safe anal stimulation with you.

Tantus Plugs Many toys look perfect for anal play; however there are many aspects to consider when choosing toys for anal stimulation. Choosing the right toy is important for anal stimulation and can often times be the difference between a fun and erotic experience and a bad one.

One of the most common toys used by beginners is anal beads. Although these are inexpensive and look like fun, they are not the best choice. Anal beads tend to be simply round balls on a string and there can be a few risks involved using them. For instance, the string can come untied, leaving a bead inside of you. Also, after being used, the string can’t be properly cleaned and will harbor bacteria. Also, because anal beads are just that beads which can be a bit painful when inserted and removed. Because they are blunt rather than tapered, they force the sphincter muscles to open suddenly. Often times, this can cause pressure, discomfort or even a slight pain when they are removed.

A much better choice that gives the same sensations as anal beads is the Ripple. Designed by Tantus, it is made from pure silicon and the beads are elliptical. Being made from silicone the Ripple is just like your silicone cookware and can be completely sterilized after you play. Also, the beads are elliptical. This allows the beads to gently open your sphincter muscle and then it closes around the neck between each bead. Because the neck has a bit of girth to it, your muscles don’t clamp down and tight once the bead is in allowing your muscles to stay slightly open and ready for the next bead to be slipped it. With this type of toy, you can choose to insert a couple beads or all of them. They even offer a small and large version of the Ripple for both new and experienced users.

Another mistake that’s often made when choosing a toy for anal play that has a blunt head. Although some may appear to be perfect for prostate massage, toys designed like this can cause a vacuum inside your rectum causing pain or injury when it’s removed. A much better choice is toys that have a tapered head. Not only are they easier to insert, the difference in diameter doesn’t create suction while you’re playing. There are some toys such as the Prostate Health Vibrator, by Tantus, that appears to have a flat head, however there is a slope along the edges that makes it totally safe for anal play. A close inspection of your will reveal whether it’s a true flat surface or not. If you can’t tell from the image you’re looking at online while you shop, Google the toy and search images to get a clear view of the toy you are considering.

When using a toy, be sure that it doesn’t have sharp edges or seams. Some toys have seams that are left behind from manufacturing and are not smoothed down properly. While this doesn’t pose a huge risk when used vaginally, they can damage the thin lining of your rectum by tearing or scratching mucus membrane.

Always make sure that the toy you are using for anal penetration has a flared base. The rectum will suck a toy in while you are playing. Don’t believe me? Slide your finger in and notice how the sphincter draws it into further, the same thing happens with your toy. Toys without a flared base pose the risk of being sucked in all the way making removal next to impossible. A flared base stops at the outer sphincter and acts like a stopper.

Another thing to consider when choosing an anal toy is the material that they are made out of. Some toys are made from PVC, rubber or even jelly. While they may be inexpensive, they pose a few risks. Toys made from material such as these have moving molecules inside of them and the chemicals seep out through the pores. This is why some toys will have a strong odor when you open their box. Many times, people’s sensitive tissue has a chemical reaction to them causing a burning sensation and even chemical burns. I always suggest choosing silicone for all of your anal pleasure. Silicone is non-porous and doesn’t have moving molecules. They have neither smell nor taste, are completely body safe, and bacteria can’t hide and grow in them. Also, silicone is easy to clean up. It can be washed with dawn dish soap, boiled or even placed on the top rack of your dishwasher to be cleaned. However, when washing your toys in the dishwasher, don’t use detergent because it can leave behind a light film causing you to have an adverse reaction. If you adore the texture or feeling of jelly toys, I suggest placing a condom over your toy before using it anally. A condom will protect you from the chemicals and will protect your toy from getting bacteria down into its pores.

Please, never use household items inside of you. In the heat of the moment it may seem like a good idea. However, they are simply not safe. Tubes of tooth paste, shaving cream cans, the handle of a brush, bottles, or anything else you might find lying around truly can harm your body for various reasons. Sharp edges, lack of a proper base, creating suction and other issues can occur.

Hubby and I both want you to be safe while you explore the pleasures of anal stimulation. A trip to the emergency room is something that we deeply desire for you to never have to experience. Choosing toys that are safe is the most important thing you can do to avoid this. Although many toys are marketed for anal play, they’re simply not safe. Please if you ever have a question about a toy, reach out to us or another trusted source to help you decided if it’s safe. There are many sex toy stores online that have a wealth of information to help you make an informed decision and even more sex toy reviewers and educators on Twitter that are always happy to help with any question you may have. Of course, I realize that it may be embarrassing to tweet about sex toys. The DM messaging system is a great way to avoid this or simply search for sex educators online and send them an email through their site’s system. I know that, like me, they’re always happy to help and answer any questions that you may have.

Wiki-anal oral sex google imageIf you’re apprehensive about anal sex; you’re not alone. Thousands of women are nervous about trying it. Even more have vowed to never try it again after a bad experience.

Often times, anal sex is thought of as dirty, painful or awkward at the best. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Anal sex can be a highly erotic sexual pleasure with the right approach.


Hygiene is a simple fix. If you have normal firmed bowel movements simply washing with close attention to your bottom should do the trick. For a better cleaning anal douching is an effective choice; visit my article for more about anal douching. Another option is having your partner wear a condom during anal sex. With a condom, clean up is easy in case of an accident.

Warming Up

The number one thing to help you get in the mood for anal sex is warming up your bottom. A sensual booty massage is a great way to help get your bottom relaxed and longing for more attention. Butt plugs are also a dandy little tool. Even the smallest of plug’s work great to relax your anal entrance and reduce the cringe of penetration latter.

To warm things up even more, there are a few intimate tricks that work wonders too. Such as, try using a small vibrator or even a finger to stimulate the tight little hole. Even more erotic is anilingus or anal rimming. During oral sex, visiting down bellow with the tongue and everywhere in-between is a sure way to get ready for more play. Even having a vaginal orgasm before anal sex will make things easier for back door play.

The nitty gritty of anal sex.

The first rule of anal penetration is lube, lube and more lube.

With a generous dab of lube on your little hole and his rod well lubed up, it will slip in easier and smoother. Go slow and have him stop once he’s just a bit inside of you. Breathe and try to relax your muscles; don’t let him move yet.

After a few moments, have him pull back out and re-lube up your bottom and his rod.

Going back in will be a bit easier this time.

However, once again only allow him to go in a little ways and stop. Think about relaxing and take some deep breaths. When you feel comfortable begin to move your hips and enjoy the feeling of him inside of you. After your at ease, allow him to take control and have fun.

Be sure to keep the lube close at hand and have him reapply when needed.

Add extra spice to your anal sex with a clitoral vibe or by using a toy vaginally.

Being intimate in new ways is always a rocky road. Although it may be awkward, exploring new things adds a new dimension to your intimacy and is well worth the journey.

For me personally, I’ve embraced ‘Greek Love’ and enjoy it as much, if not more, than vaginal sex alone. Anal orgasms are some of the best I’ve ever experienced.

I hope these tips help you feel more comfortable and open up to new delights. You never know where the journey may take you.

One of the concerns when embarking on the journey into anal play is cleanliness. Let’s face it as erotic as anal sex is, no one wants to find mud on their hood when they pull out. Often times, this fear or surviving the embarrassment of one bad experience can be enough to detour people from anal sex.

However, with a bit of preparation, there are a few things that can be done to ensure that your anal sex is nothing but good clean fun.

Digestive Health

A diet that’s high in natural fiber (not over processed fibers) and staying hydrated is the number one thing that you can do for digestive tract health. Fiber will cause the feces in your bowels to bind together and come out as a formed solid and drinking the proper amount of water will help things flow on a regular basis.

A quick look at how the digestive track works.

The food that you eat passes through the stomach and into the small intestines. Here nutrients are absorbed into the body. Next it passes into the large intestines where the fluid and remaining nutrients are absorbed into the body. It’s at the bottom of the large intestines where the feces is held until a build up is detected by the nerves which then single the brain that it’s time to expel the feces. The last section is the rectum, which is approximately eight inches long. It’s a common myth that this is the area where feces are held until evacuating. However, in normal circumstances, the rectum is only a passage way out. Typically, people who have normal bowel movements don’t need to worry about internal cleanliness. A simple through washing of the outer anal area is all that’s needed before your play time.

For those who’s bowels are not fully formed, a few little bits may remain in the rectum after defecating. For these situations, anal douching is effective to clean everything out.

Anal Douching

For those who desire a bit more reassurance, anal douching remains the most popular option.

However, there’s great debate over the safety of anal douching. Many experts say that douching washes away much of the protective mucous lining of your rectum, leaving you open to infections. Also, anal douches can irritate or cause small tiny cuts in your anus making you more susceptible to infections. In addition, over use of enemas/douches can interfere with the normal workings of your bowels and possibly lead to your bowels being dependent upon laxatives to function correctly. Most importantly, water is absorbed through bowels and a sudden overload can increase blood volume. This can cause problems for those who suffer from heart or kidney diseases; including heart arrhythmia. Therefore, if you’re not in good health it’s always best to consult your physician before anal douching.

Although there are health concerns, when using anal douches in moderation, it’s believed by many to be the best option to have an overall hygienic anal experience.

How to Anal Douche

The goal of anal douching is to clean the walls of the rectum, not prompt you to have a bowel movement. Therefore, it’s best not to use enemas which contain laxatives or other medications. For anal douching only lukewarm water is needed. Also, a strong force of water or over filling the rectum with water may cause you to have a bowel movement if the water reaches the lower large intestine. When anal douching, only approximately four to eight ounces of water at a time is needed to rinse away anything stuck to the rectal walls.

It’s always best to douche two to four hours before you play. Douching a few hours before anal sex allows your body to expel any extra water and also gives the rectum time to reproduce some of the mucus which was washed away during the rinsing.

To douche, insert the water and hold it in for about ten to twenty seconds. Then, sit on the toilet and allow the water to run back out. Remember, the goal is to simply rinse the rectum’s walls. Repeat this process until the water runs clearish, (Normally the water will never run crystal clear since the mucus lining is also being washed away). Never over douche, since this removes too much of the mucus lining and can cause health problems. I typically douche only two times a few hours before anal sex and have never experienced an embarrassing moment.

Tools To Use

Anal douches can be purchased at most local drug stores. However they are generally marketed under the name ‘rectal syringe’. These are small bulbs with a rounded tip to make insertion easier. They can also be purchased at most sex toy stores. Also, these are also available in travel size and fit in your purse. Perfect to take along on a date or a night out on the town, these allow you to clean yourself for unexpected fun.

Anal douche hoses that attach to your bathtub are also available. However with these, it’s important to make sure that you can control the force of the water flow to ensure that damage to your rectum isn’t caused by the strong force of the water. The safest design is those that work based on gravity and not water force.

An old fashioned douche bag is another option. Although these work well, be sure to only use a small amount of water at a time and to use the anal attachment. The vaginal attachment has small holes which may not do the trick.

Enemas are a convenient, inexpensive and disposable option. However, be sure that the enema you choose is saline water. Again, other types of enemas which contain laxatives or other ingredients that work with your body to alleviate constipation can cause you have a bowel movement at the wrong time; before you play.

There’s no exact science to anal douching. Also, I’m not a medical doctor. These are just some tips and tricks to help you along your anal sex journey and not intended to over ride any medical advice you’ve received. If you experience bleeding, pain or cramping please seek medical attention as this can be a signs of serious injury to your rectum.

With a bit of preparation you can enjoy anal sex without having the fear of an embarrassing moment. The trick is to find what’s right for your body. The more experience you have with anal douching you will find the combination of time and water volume that works right for you.

When you feel clean and confident, you can relax and enjoy yourself during anal sex. I’m sure your partner will also appreciated that you’ve taken the time to cleanse yourself and make him feel more at ease also.

Have fun, relax and enjoy yourself.

Your lover’s bottom is a playing field just waiting to be explored. An often over looked erogenous zone, the two cheeks like to be caressed, kneaded, pinched, spanked and so much more.

On way to entice your lover into opening up to its pleasures is a sensual massage. Massaging this area floods the pelvis with fresh blood flow which enhances sexual sensations. Not only the butt cheeks, but also the hips, lower back, and inner thighs are highly erogenous zones. Massaging these areas just might lead to other back door pleasures.

When giving a sensual massage set the mood for your lover to help them relax. Dimming the lights and setting around a few candles are only a couple of the things you can do. Aromatherapy is also a wonderful touch to help your lover relax. Sandalwood is one of my personal favorites. Its aroma is soft, warm and woody without a smelling like perfume or flowery. Best of all, Sandalwood has an ago-old reputation as an aphrodisiac. Another nice touch is wrapping your lover’s bottom in a warm towel for a few minutes while you massage their shoulder and back. Lastly, don’t forget the massage oil. When using oil, remember a little goes a long way and excess oil may not taste nice latter.

There’s no right or wrong way to give a booty massage. However, there are few techniques that can help to make it more enjoyable experience.

Blushing Cheeks is a wonderful way to help loosen up tight and over worked muscles. For this technique, cup your palms on each cheek and rub in slow circular motions until the skin warms beneath your touch. Also, you can kneading and squeezing their cheeks with your whole hand. Once the muscles begin to loosen a bit, make soft fists and slowly kneed and twist them towards the center of your lover’s cheeks.

Surfboading is another technique that works well to relax tight muscles. Straddling your lover’s lower back work their booty from the top down. With lubed hands, place the heels of your palms just above your their cheeks and on either side of the spine. With firm pressure slowly glide your hands down the cheeks to the thighs. Resist the urge to go fast; slow deep strokes are more effective and stimulating.

Pray for More is also an excellent way to relax the inner cheeks and warm up your lover’s booty for play latter. For this technique place your palms together with the pinkies at the top of your lover’s butt cleavage. Slide your pinkies down for a slow ride, nestling them deep in for maximum pleasure. Then glide back up and slowly repeat. You can also add a wave like motion for extra stimulation.

Crease Rider will help to relax their lower booty muscles. Nestle your thumbs into the crease where the legs and butt meet. With firm pressure glide your thumbs in small circular motions. Slowly widen the circle and press deeper as you run your thumbs back and forth across the crease.

After your lover relaxes, you can move onto more concentrated A-spot massage.

Taint Treat, is a nice way to warm their tight button up. For this type of massage spread your lover’s legs wide and place your finger tips on your lover’s taint. Next, slowly and gently move your fingertips in small circles, applying only light pressure as you advance up.

All Thumbs is also a fun and effective. For this, gently place both thumbs deep between your lover’s cheeks on either side of their A-spot. With soft pressure slowly glide your thumbs up and outward. Repeat as you moving down slightly each time until you reach the taint. Repeat the process from the top again.

There are even a few techniques for direct A-spot massage.

Thumb Roller is one of Hubby’s personal favorites. With both thumbs directly on the A-spot stroke up and down as you lift the thumbs in a twiddling motion. This stimulates the outer anal rim as you slowly glide your thumbs across it. Another fun technique is the Butt Buffer. Use one lubed finger to slowly glide back and forth across your lover’s tight hole in a windshield wiper motion. Light pressure can be applied as they relax underneath erotic sensations.

No matter how you choose to massage your lover’s booty, one thing’s for sure, it’s a great way open your lover up to back door pleasures. Take your time, help them relax and before you know it their booty will be yearning to feel more.

Do you have an erotic way to massage your lover or a something special that to warm them up? Don’t keep it a secret, share your kinky thoughts bellow.