I think we all can agree that having a long term relationship is a great thing. As the relationship continues on, you gain a close friendship and a great sex partner, possibly for life. Spending a long time with someone can create challenges in the bedroom. Many couples feel that as they spend more time together, their sex lives get a little dull. So recently my partner and I have decided to go sexless for the next 3 months. Join me on my journey of revamping and restarting my sex life.
Part I: How it Started
When you first get into a relationship and get to the point of having sex, sex is exciting. You get to discover the other person. You get to know them and their body on a more personal level, and I think everyone can agree it takes the relationship to a whole new ball park. But after so many years of sex with the same partner, things can slow down a bit. This is perfectly normal and perfectly okay. Almost everyone I know who has had long term relationships or are even married experience this at some point.
The first and best way to overcome this is experimenting. Now I don’t mean invite other people to your bed or let each other sleep with someone else. I mean try something new. Try having sex in different places, on different surfaces and so on and work your way up to something a little more…experimental. My boyfriend and I have used toys in the bedroom as well as other sexual devices and for a good while that kept us going. A lot of the time we’d get home and couldn’t wait to get in bed together to try out our new toys or just play with the good old ones. But recently we’re feeling stuck in a rut. We still love each other and we still have sex regularly, but the excitement of the toys and new places has decreased. So we decided to try something new.
Part II: The Brilliant Idea
We looked at each other with the biggest smiles on our faces and agreed that this was a fantastic idea. Now the question was for how long and what would the conditions be? We ended up deciding on three months, at least to start with. If we could hold out longer we would, but that would be decided on a later date. The other conditions included only masturbating once a day, two or three times a week without the use of sex toys. This way we could keep the sexual hunger up but sated for the time being. We are not allowed to provoke or try to overly arouse one another in any way or masturbation rights are revoked for the week. And of course the biggest thing of all, no sex…period, in any way, shape or form.
We started exactly three weeks ago and so far it’s working out great. It’s hard to sleep in the same bed without being able to rub up on each other or make love when we really feel passionate, but we know that by the time we do have sex everything we’ve been holding back will erupt in one ridiculous, amazing, and beyond fantastic sexual bomb. Everything we had in the beginning will resurface and that to us is so very worth it.
Part III: The reason I Tell You This…
It’s already very difficult to not have sex with each other. My boyfriend and I are highly sexual people and to just go cold turkey is no easy feat, but as I said we know it’ll be well worth it. So if you’re feeling like trying something new with your partner, maybe the best thing is not trying anything at all. You may be pleasantly surprised by where you end up. If you want a little insight on how the experience will be, just keep following my articles. Every few weeks I’ll post up on the progress and let you know how I’m feeling, and how he’s feeling so you can get an idea of how you might feel if you try going sexless.
Keep one thing in mind though, you may love how sex will be by the end of your chastity period. It might just be the greatest sex you’ve ever had.