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Tag: anal play
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Beginner’s Guide to Anal Douching/Enemas
Are you anally adventurous? Then there’s no doubt that you have been considering a deep clean for some time. For no muss, no fuss in the wonderful world of anal play, douching and enemas are becoming increasingly popular. They can also be enjoyed as part of some extreme BDSM play, so why not put some intense pressure on your sub, and give it a go?
We know that douching/an enema as a standalone activity can be an intensely sensual experience. So for all you budding klismaphiliacs out there, UberKinky has put together this comprehensive guide to give you some essential pointers. Enjoy some good clean fun and start fulfilling those downstairs desires without delay!
Safety First!
STOP! For practising safe sanitation, it is imperative that you read through these safety tips carefully. UberKinky takes your well-being seriously, that’s why it’s important that you have all the facts before we send you on your way, douche/enema in hand. Although partaking in douching or an enema is a relatively risk free practice, there are a couple of things that you should consider before moving forward.
Here at UberKinky, we live by the theory that everything is supremely satisfying in moderation. So don’t overdo it! Excessive douching and enemas can cause the mucous lining of the anus to be washed away, leaving you vulnerable to infections. It can also cause cuts and interfere with normal bowel function. We recommend that you fulfil your anal ambitions no more than once or twice weekly.
If you’re a little over-excited and want to dive straight in at the deep end; calm down, there’s no rush! It is crucial that you always follow these dos and don’ts to get the most from your play;
Don’t:
- Use soap, salts, or other additives, as they could cause irritation – if you’re just starting out, save the additives for when you’re a little more experienced
- Use if you have any heart problems or any other serious health related issues
- Strain or force the fluid out of the rectum, it will be expelled naturally
Do:
- Rinse your douche or enema before use
- Go to the toilet before getting started
- Thoroughly clean your douche/enema after use with antibacterial toy cleaner
- Stop if you experience any pain or severe discomfort
- Test the temperature of the water before filling your douche/enema (it should be body temperature, approximately 37-40 C)
Getting Started
So you can’t believe that it’s taken you so long, but you’re finally ready to take the plunge? Well if you’re all set for some anal action, but you’re still unsure of how to administer this medical procedure; have no fear, UberKinky is here to solve all of those douching dilemmas. Simply follow this step by step guide and you’ll be on your way to cleansed contentment in no time;
- Give your cleaning device a clean of its own
- Fill it with warm (not hot!) water
- Lubricate the anus and nozzle of the enema or douche
- Insert the finger to ensure that the muscles are relaxed
- Assume the position – there are three optimum positions for administering an enema or douching;
- Sims’ – lie straight on the left side, with the right leg bent over the left leg
- Knee-chest – lie face down and bring the knees into the chest
- Lying on the back with the knees bent
Although, if you are a die hard fetishist you may want to try; seated on a rim seat, queening stool, or an examination seat with stirrups
- Insert the nozzle just past the sphincter
- Squeeze in as much, or as little water, as you are comfortable with
- Remove the nozzle slowly and gently
- Move around and massage the stomach in a clockwise direction – this will get the fluid flowing
- Hold the water in the anus until you naturally feel the urge to expel it – do so whilst sitting on the toilet
- Repeat as required until the water runs clear
For less of a deep clean, and more of a rectal rise, only introduce a small amount of water into the body.
Don’t:
- Release the bulb (if using a hand held squeezing device) whilst still inserted in the anus as it will suck the ‘dirty’ water back in
- Douche or use an enema right before anal play, you should allow 2-3 hours to ensure that all of the water has been expelled
Do:
- Insert the finger first to relax the muscles before inserting the nozzle
- Use plenty of water based lubricant
- Have a towel nearby in case of emergency
How does a woman give a man anal sexual pleasure?
Ask Cara: Women’s beginner’s guide to giving a man anal pleasure (& helpful top tips)
Question
I’ve started a new relationship with a man and it turns out he wants me to give him anal pleasure. I’ve only ever been with one guy before who liked it and it was a very short relationship so we didn’t dabble that much. I know things like keeping my nails short and using lube but after that I am pretty clueless! I know how I like my ass played with but that’s me, and I’m a woman – I have no idea what I am doing with a man. Could you possibly explain how to give anal pleasure to a man, or some kind of beginner’s guide? Some helpful top tips would be really awesome! Hoping you can help.
– Anon
Answer
Hi there and thanks for your question. Anal play is a sensitive subject (pun entirely intended) for all parties involved. As you may be aware, the tissue and lining inside the anal area is quite thin and prone to tears and rips if not treated with the utmost respect.
- Always use lube. I cannot emphasise this enough. Lubricant is mandatory for anal play. I don’t mean a quick spit on your fingertips before shoving them in with a whispered prayer either; I’m talking about honest-to-goodnesssex lube. You can choose from water based or silicone, there are even thicker formulation lubricants available especially for anal sex and use with anal sex toys. They’re less likely to run too fast and dribble into a messy puddle beneath. You can also make sure it stays where intended and feel where it’s going – no matter what the lighting in the room is like.
- Work slowly. Rushing when it comes to anal pleasure does nobody any good – at least not until there’s a decent about of lubrication, little to zero friction and everyone’s passionate in the heat of the moment. This is especially true for newbies to anal play. Things in the bottom seem larger than they appear so start very small, smaller than you’d think. Edge the tip of a pinky finger inside to begin with, aided by lubricant (I may have mentioned lube already).
- In a similar vein, if you want to introduce anal sex toys to him then start off very small. There are various butt plugs for beginners and a static one first of all (as opposed to a vibrating butt plug) may be less intimidating and help him get used to the shape and feel inside him. Only use sex toys with a flared base for anal play as this will stop them from being ‘sucked up’ into the body. Other ideal anal beginner toys are multi butt plug sets which let you experiment with different sizes, as well as inflatable options which give you the versatility of a small or large butt plug and everywhere in between – as well as a quick release valve in case of panic.
- Give additional pleasure while experimenting with his anal region. This is quite tricky, as it’s natural to want to see what you’re doing. Extra and familiar pleasure helps him relax and allows you to explore his ass with your fingers if you’re giving him a fluid, well lubricated hand job at the same time, paying attention to his testicles as well as his shaft and penis tip, of course. In later sessions you might feel confident enough to kiss and suck his penis, giving a languid and thoroughly stimulating blow job while you probe his anal area slowly.
- When giving anal pleasure to a man, you would do well to be aware of a little something called the prostate. A little walnut shaped something, to be precise. This gland is located fairly deep inside the anal canal, on the upper wall if the man is laying face up. You should be able to just about stimulate it with a fingertip or two but it takes practice – and again, more lube. Use a beckoning motion with your finger and watch him squirm in pleasure. You’re right to keep your fingernails short! The prostate is the epicentre of a man’s anal pleasure. When correctly stimulated, the prostate can lead to full body orgasms like your man has never before experienced. For more on this subject and a great deal of in-depth, expert knowledge, I highly recommend Charlie Glickman’s The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure (here at Amazon.com:https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1573449040/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1573449040&linkCode=as2&tag=carsut-20&linkId=IYPA6HZHSU3LTH3N). It’s a must-read for everything prostate and male anal pleasure.
- A little housekeeping: don’t use sex toys from anal to vaginal (woman) or share sex toys between his anus and your anus and/or vagina. The anal area is loaded with bacteria which can cause nasty irritations, infections and other medical issues of a nasty nature if you introduce them to other areas on yourself or on another person. After anal play, always make sure you wash all items involved (sex toys, fingers, body parts) thoroughly and use an anti-bacterial soap (or relevant spray, in the case of sex toys). Use a nail brush to make sure you remove any nasties from under your nails.
I hope that this short guide to giving a man anal pleasure has helped – good luck and enjoy your anal adventures together.
Anal Sex Tips – Fun and Safe
Anal sex is an art form of sexual encounters. When done right it can be highly erotic, when done wrong it can turn you or your lover off from anal sex forever. Being safe is one of the keys to ensuring that you get the most out of your anal experience.
There’s nothing complicated about anal sex safety. Yet, in the zealousness of the moment, it’s often overlooked. Unlike PIV sex, spontaneity with anal sex isn’t always a good choice. Instead a bit of planning and preparation can go a long way.
Comfort
Having lube on hand is a must. Since your anus doesn’t create its own lubrication like the vagina does, you’ll need to reapply lube as you play. Lube will keep everything slick and gliding smoothly. How much lube is too much? There’s no such thing. Too little lube, things will drag and pull as you play. Believe me, it doesn’t feel erotic at all. What kind of lube should you use? Water based lube is always the best choice. Because it’s body and condom safe, there’s little to no chance of irritation. When using water based lube, keep in mind that the body absorbs it making reapplying necessary. Also when choosing a lube, remember that silicone oil based lubricant can break down condoms and cause them to tear while being used.
Having manicured nails is also an aspect to consider. Jagged, rough or hang nails can irritate or tare the thin mucus membrane of the rectum. The same goes for toys used in the anus, be sure that they’re free from sharp edges or texture that might irritate the rectum. Also, keep in mind that anything you put in your ass should be made for it. Toys with flared bases ensure that they don’t slip too far in the anus.
Cleanliness
Although not directly related to safety, having a bowl movement the day you plan on having anal sex will cut down on the chance of an accident. Using an anal douche a few hours before you play can also be used to ensure that’s there’s no accidents.
Because the rectum contains bacteria, condoms are a great choice to keep everything clean. They can even be used over your toys. Not only good for cleanliness, condoms will protect you from STD’s.
Latex condoms are anal safe. So are pre-lubricated condoms. However, condoms that are lubricated with nonoxynol-9, often found in some lubricants and used to kill HIV and STD’s , should be avoided. Although it was once widely recommended, now we know that it’s often too harsh for the soft tissue of the rectum.
Condoms today come with a lot of bells or whistles. Many designed for her pleasure are not the best choice for anal sex because the texture can be irritating.
Never share fingers, toys or a dick between your anus and vagina. The anus contains bacteria which can cause infection. Therefore, anything that’s put in the anus should be thoroughly cleaned before sharing it with another area your lover’s body. Using a glove for fingers or a condom over toys, makes it a lot easier to clean up and continue playing.
I always use silicone, glass, metal or wood toys for anal play. They are non-porous, so they don’t harbor bacteria, and are easy to clean with a bit of anti-bacterial soap and water.
Anal sex is an erotic experience for both lovers. Yet, many people avoid it with a ten foot pole because of fears or a past bad experience. Being knowledgeable about the finer points of anal pleasure helps you be a better lover and creates an experience that both you and lover are sure to want more of.
Communicate with your lover, be safe and take things slow and you’re anal sex experience should leave you wanting it again and again.
What NOT to put in your butt. Safe Anal Stimulation
When it comes to anal play, there’s a lot of information about toys that are fun to use. Unfortunately, there isn’t much about what not to use. Inspired by Ducky Doolittle’s Tantus 2.0 class, I thought this was an important subject to cover and wanted to share some thoughts about safe anal stimulation with you.
Tantus Plugs Many toys look perfect for anal play; however there are many aspects to consider when choosing toys for anal stimulation. Choosing the right toy is important for anal stimulation and can often times be the difference between a fun and erotic experience and a bad one.
One of the most common toys used by beginners is anal beads. Although these are inexpensive and look like fun, they are not the best choice. Anal beads tend to be simply round balls on a string and there can be a few risks involved using them. For instance, the string can come untied, leaving a bead inside of you. Also, after being used, the string can’t be properly cleaned and will harbor bacteria. Also, because anal beads are just that beads which can be a bit painful when inserted and removed. Because they are blunt rather than tapered, they force the sphincter muscles to open suddenly. Often times, this can cause pressure, discomfort or even a slight pain when they are removed.
A much better choice that gives the same sensations as anal beads is the Ripple. Designed by Tantus, it is made from pure silicon and the beads are elliptical. Being made from silicone the Ripple is just like your silicone cookware and can be completely sterilized after you play. Also, the beads are elliptical. This allows the beads to gently open your sphincter muscle and then it closes around the neck between each bead. Because the neck has a bit of girth to it, your muscles don’t clamp down and tight once the bead is in allowing your muscles to stay slightly open and ready for the next bead to be slipped it. With this type of toy, you can choose to insert a couple beads or all of them. They even offer a small and large version of the Ripple for both new and experienced users.
Another mistake that’s often made when choosing a toy for anal play that has a blunt head. Although some may appear to be perfect for prostate massage, toys designed like this can cause a vacuum inside your rectum causing pain or injury when it’s removed. A much better choice is toys that have a tapered head. Not only are they easier to insert, the difference in diameter doesn’t create suction while you’re playing. There are some toys such as the Prostate Health Vibrator, by Tantus, that appears to have a flat head, however there is a slope along the edges that makes it totally safe for anal play. A close inspection of your will reveal whether it’s a true flat surface or not. If you can’t tell from the image you’re looking at online while you shop, Google the toy and search images to get a clear view of the toy you are considering.
When using a toy, be sure that it doesn’t have sharp edges or seams. Some toys have seams that are left behind from manufacturing and are not smoothed down properly. While this doesn’t pose a huge risk when used vaginally, they can damage the thin lining of your rectum by tearing or scratching mucus membrane.
Always make sure that the toy you are using for anal penetration has a flared base. The rectum will suck a toy in while you are playing. Don’t believe me? Slide your finger in and notice how the sphincter draws it into further, the same thing happens with your toy. Toys without a flared base pose the risk of being sucked in all the way making removal next to impossible. A flared base stops at the outer sphincter and acts like a stopper.
Another thing to consider when choosing an anal toy is the material that they are made out of. Some toys are made from PVC, rubber or even jelly. While they may be inexpensive, they pose a few risks. Toys made from material such as these have moving molecules inside of them and the chemicals seep out through the pores. This is why some toys will have a strong odor when you open their box. Many times, people’s sensitive tissue has a chemical reaction to them causing a burning sensation and even chemical burns. I always suggest choosing silicone for all of your anal pleasure. Silicone is non-porous and doesn’t have moving molecules. They have neither smell nor taste, are completely body safe, and bacteria can’t hide and grow in them. Also, silicone is easy to clean up. It can be washed with dawn dish soap, boiled or even placed on the top rack of your dishwasher to be cleaned. However, when washing your toys in the dishwasher, don’t use detergent because it can leave behind a light film causing you to have an adverse reaction. If you adore the texture or feeling of jelly toys, I suggest placing a condom over your toy before using it anally. A condom will protect you from the chemicals and will protect your toy from getting bacteria down into its pores.
Please, never use household items inside of you. In the heat of the moment it may seem like a good idea. However, they are simply not safe. Tubes of tooth paste, shaving cream cans, the handle of a brush, bottles, or anything else you might find lying around truly can harm your body for various reasons. Sharp edges, lack of a proper base, creating suction and other issues can occur.
Hubby and I both want you to be safe while you explore the pleasures of anal stimulation. A trip to the emergency room is something that we deeply desire for you to never have to experience. Choosing toys that are safe is the most important thing you can do to avoid this. Although many toys are marketed for anal play, they’re simply not safe. Please if you ever have a question about a toy, reach out to us or another trusted source to help you decided if it’s safe. There are many sex toy stores online that have a wealth of information to help you make an informed decision and even more sex toy reviewers and educators on Twitter that are always happy to help with any question you may have. Of course, I realize that it may be embarrassing to tweet about sex toys. The DM messaging system is a great way to avoid this or simply search for sex educators online and send them an email through their site’s system. I know that, like me, they’re always happy to help and answer any questions that you may have.