Tag: bisexual

By Posted on Posted in Guides, Reviews

In this day and age of sexual acceptance Anal Sex still remains a taboo sexual act. Although many couples thoroughly enjoy it, you don’t find many women willing to admit it. More times than not, when someone mentions Anal Sex it brings to mind gay or bisexual men, rather than something enjoyable between heterosexual couples. Yet, the truth is that more and more women are engaging in Anal Sex and loving it.

When I reveal my secret pleasure to other women, the response is generally the same, “How can you enjoy that?” and “Doesn’t it hurt?” My answer never changes, “It only hurts for a moment, but the pleasure is well worth a little cringe.”

Hubby and I have been enjoying Anal Sex regularly for a few years now. After I learned to relax and breathe when he enters my rear, I become rather addicted to it. Although I absolutely love the sensations when I feel him deep inside of me, I’ve never experienced a true anal orgasm. That is, until the other night.

That’s right, an anal orgasm isn’t just for men; women can enjoy them too.

As we all know, everyone’s body is different and experience pleasures uniquely. Yet for most women, the anus is very active during a PIV (penis in vagina) orgasm, you just might not know it. During an orgasm the sphincter muscles are clenching and relaxing, those contractions stimulate the sensitive nerve endings in both the vagina and anus and often times make your orgasm even better.

How can this be, you ask? The anus is flooded with nerve endings most of which move through the Pudendal Nerve, which is the same nerve that serves the clitoris. Further inside of the rectum, stimulation will be picked up by the same nerves that responds to stimulation of the inner vagina the cervix; the Pelvic Nerve. Stimulating these nerves can cause a deep and throbbing sensation inside both the vagina and anus. With many tiny branches of these nerves surrounding and connecting to the anus, it’s easy to see why Anal Sex is enjoyable.

If you haven’t experience an anal orgasm, extra stimulation is an excellent way to help you achieve one. While having Anal Sex, all of your erogenous zones are exposed and easy to access. Try stimulating your clit or even using a vibrator inside your vagina, since all of the nerves are connected it should help to send you into bliss. You can even enlist the help of your lover to help provide extra stimulation.

While having Anal Sex the nerves will fire and its muscles will contract acting like the vagina. However, the rectum isn’t self lubricating. Therefore, extra lubrication is needed while having Anal Sex for things to be more enjoyable.

Explore, be safe and have fun. I’m sure you’ll find yourself loving anal orgasms as much as me.

By Posted on Posted in Guides

There are many of us who identify as queer, bisexual, pansexual, or other identities that are flexible in the sex and gender of our partners. This is often difficult to understand for people who are not flexible, whether they are gay or straight. This is a guide for monosexual (cliff notes version: someone who is either straight or gay) partners of sexually flexible people to be a better partner to those of us with these unique identities.

1. Control and be aware of your jealousy, even more so than in other relationships.

Many people have jealousy in their romantic pursuits, which is normal as long as it is controlled and does not affect the other person. However, people flexible in their sexual orientation and pursuits could be interested in anyone, and being suspicious of them when they hang out with anyone will severely impair their ability to have any friends. This is really important to remember and also balance with the next two points.

2. Remember that they are bisexual or flexible, and treat that sexual orientation just as seriously as you would treat a straight or gay orientation.

Many times I have had a partner who conveniently forgets that I am flexible and gets fiercely jealous of me being around people of only one particular sex or gender identity but treats the other(s) like normal friends. Okay, really? My current partner is great about my flexible sexual orientation and knows that women, and any other gender for that matter, can be just as much of a threat to our relationship as cismen like himself. However, I’ve also gone on dates with cismen who seem to think that bisexual women exist for their amusement. Others, of any gender, think I’m confused. Even if your partner is confused and is working out their orientation, it is up to them to decide how to identify. You have no authority to tell them what their orientation really is.

3. The dating pool for gay people is small, especially in some regions of the country and world. Don’t freak out if your partner frequently sees an ex or two unless they give you a reason to do so.

This is important for straight people who are dating flexible people. If there are 10 lesbians in your little town, your partner is bound to have dated one or several of them, and after breaking up, they will run into them or even be best friends with them. It’s okay. Think about your ex-partners—-would you really want to get back together with them? Most people would say no. There is a reason that your partner is dating you and no longer dating them. It’s important for us to know other bisexuals, or even strictly gay people, that can understand this essential part of our identities. Sometimes that means becoming friends with ex-partners in ways that straight people would not.

4. Avoid cliché questions because they’ve been asked over and over again, unless they open the conversation, and don’t assume that your partner fits the stereotypes.

“Who have you had more/better sex with?” “How many threesomes have you had?” and other common bisexual questions are not a great start to a relationship with a bisexual or otherwise flexible person. These are questions we’ve heard a lot. We don’t also want to hear them from our partners. In fact, my partner is the person to whom I complain about these questions and stereotypes. People flexible about the sex and gender of their partners are stereotyped as confused, promiscuous, cheaters, and many other things that are not any more true about us than the general population. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard people who claim to be really progressive make comments like, “I hope my partner isn’t bisexual. I don’t want them to cheat on me with a ____.” These comments hurt flexible people and perpetuate negative stereotypes. Don’t assume your partner will cheat on you because they are flexible.

5. But do talk about it. Ask your partner how you can be supportive.

Your partner has a sexual orientation that is commonly misunderstood and is also largely invisible. When holding your hand, people assume that they are ____ sexuality when they are only seeing half of the picture. If you are a couple that appears heterosexual, your partner may love heterosexual romance films—but also might love homosexual ones. Be sure that you are asking your partner if there is more that you could do to be supportive of their sexual orientation. If you are in a homosexual relationship with a bisexual person, consider buying them heterosexual erotica. If you are in a heterosexual relationship, go to Pride with them, or encourage them to attend with their LGBTQ friends.

6. Don’t overwhelm them with unnecessary support they didn’t ask for or want.

It may seem like this guide is contradictory, but it is mostly about balance. It is important to support your partner’s identity, but it is not their only identity. Don’t treat it as any more important than other parts of them, especially if they don’t think it is that important. Some people, like myself, are very into our queer identity and talk about it a lot. However, my queer identity is just as important as my working-class, woman, and feminist ones, all of which I spend a lot of time thinking and talking about. Don’t focus solely on their flexible sexual orientation and not at all on other identities. If your partner says they don’t want to go to Pride or receive heterosexual erotica, don’t push it on them. You partner may not want or need any extra support from you, and that’s okay too.If there is something I’ve forgotten or that you want to add, please do so in the comments!