Tag: ball

By Posted on Posted in Guides

When it comes to anal play, there’s a lot of information about toys that are fun to use. Unfortunately, there isn’t much about what not to use. Inspired by Ducky Doolittle’s Tantus 2.0 class, I thought this was an important subject to cover and wanted to share some thoughts about safe anal stimulation with you.

Tantus Plugs Many toys look perfect for anal play; however there are many aspects to consider when choosing toys for anal stimulation. Choosing the right toy is important for anal stimulation and can often times be the difference between a fun and erotic experience and a bad one.

One of the most common toys used by beginners is anal beads. Although these are inexpensive and look like fun, they are not the best choice. Anal beads tend to be simply round balls on a string and there can be a few risks involved using them. For instance, the string can come untied, leaving a bead inside of you. Also, after being used, the string can’t be properly cleaned and will harbor bacteria. Also, because anal beads are just that beads which can be a bit painful when inserted and removed. Because they are blunt rather than tapered, they force the sphincter muscles to open suddenly. Often times, this can cause pressure, discomfort or even a slight pain when they are removed.

A much better choice that gives the same sensations as anal beads is the Ripple. Designed by Tantus, it is made from pure silicon and the beads are elliptical. Being made from silicone the Ripple is just like your silicone cookware and can be completely sterilized after you play. Also, the beads are elliptical. This allows the beads to gently open your sphincter muscle and then it closes around the neck between each bead. Because the neck has a bit of girth to it, your muscles don’t clamp down and tight once the bead is in allowing your muscles to stay slightly open and ready for the next bead to be slipped it. With this type of toy, you can choose to insert a couple beads or all of them. They even offer a small and large version of the Ripple for both new and experienced users.

Another mistake that’s often made when choosing a toy for anal play that has a blunt head. Although some may appear to be perfect for prostate massage, toys designed like this can cause a vacuum inside your rectum causing pain or injury when it’s removed. A much better choice is toys that have a tapered head. Not only are they easier to insert, the difference in diameter doesn’t create suction while you’re playing. There are some toys such as the Prostate Health Vibrator, by Tantus, that appears to have a flat head, however there is a slope along the edges that makes it totally safe for anal play. A close inspection of your will reveal whether it’s a true flat surface or not. If you can’t tell from the image you’re looking at online while you shop, Google the toy and search images to get a clear view of the toy you are considering.

When using a toy, be sure that it doesn’t have sharp edges or seams. Some toys have seams that are left behind from manufacturing and are not smoothed down properly. While this doesn’t pose a huge risk when used vaginally, they can damage the thin lining of your rectum by tearing or scratching mucus membrane.

Always make sure that the toy you are using for anal penetration has a flared base. The rectum will suck a toy in while you are playing. Don’t believe me? Slide your finger in and notice how the sphincter draws it into further, the same thing happens with your toy. Toys without a flared base pose the risk of being sucked in all the way making removal next to impossible. A flared base stops at the outer sphincter and acts like a stopper.

Another thing to consider when choosing an anal toy is the material that they are made out of. Some toys are made from PVC, rubber or even jelly. While they may be inexpensive, they pose a few risks. Toys made from material such as these have moving molecules inside of them and the chemicals seep out through the pores. This is why some toys will have a strong odor when you open their box. Many times, people’s sensitive tissue has a chemical reaction to them causing a burning sensation and even chemical burns. I always suggest choosing silicone for all of your anal pleasure. Silicone is non-porous and doesn’t have moving molecules. They have neither smell nor taste, are completely body safe, and bacteria can’t hide and grow in them. Also, silicone is easy to clean up. It can be washed with dawn dish soap, boiled or even placed on the top rack of your dishwasher to be cleaned. However, when washing your toys in the dishwasher, don’t use detergent because it can leave behind a light film causing you to have an adverse reaction. If you adore the texture or feeling of jelly toys, I suggest placing a condom over your toy before using it anally. A condom will protect you from the chemicals and will protect your toy from getting bacteria down into its pores.

Please, never use household items inside of you. In the heat of the moment it may seem like a good idea. However, they are simply not safe. Tubes of tooth paste, shaving cream cans, the handle of a brush, bottles, or anything else you might find lying around truly can harm your body for various reasons. Sharp edges, lack of a proper base, creating suction and other issues can occur.

Hubby and I both want you to be safe while you explore the pleasures of anal stimulation. A trip to the emergency room is something that we deeply desire for you to never have to experience. Choosing toys that are safe is the most important thing you can do to avoid this. Although many toys are marketed for anal play, they’re simply not safe. Please if you ever have a question about a toy, reach out to us or another trusted source to help you decided if it’s safe. There are many sex toy stores online that have a wealth of information to help you make an informed decision and even more sex toy reviewers and educators on Twitter that are always happy to help with any question you may have. Of course, I realize that it may be embarrassing to tweet about sex toys. The DM messaging system is a great way to avoid this or simply search for sex educators online and send them an email through their site’s system. I know that, like me, they’re always happy to help and answer any questions that you may have.

https://www.tryfm.com/sex-toy-for-women/anal-toys

By Posted on Posted in Guides

For some, there is nothing sexier than rubbing against a lover’s smooth skin. Yet for some of us shaving can be a pain. Without the promise of some sexual favor to come, it can be hassle not worth undergoing. So how do we give our lover the smoothest skin possible and still make it worth our time and effort? That’s simple, combine the two. Here’s how…

“Shaving is a really depressing task when you know you’re not getting laid that night.”

— ZJ22

If you and your lover are going to undertake the rather sexy task of shaving each other you’ll need to know a few key things, and have the right tools. Start with the basics, the razor. There are tons of razors available on the market, and whether you’re using a disposable, a more expensive razor, or an electric, there’s something for everyone. Water, that’s a very basic need but an important one nonetheless, and while shaving some areas is recommended dry, you’ll still need water to wash and rinse with. Next on your tool kit list should be shaving cream or gel, you can choose whatever scent or variety you like, but it’s a must for the smoothest shave possible. Another option is a shaving bar, this is the kind of lathering ‘soap’ specifically for shaving that most barbers use and is applied with a brush. Men tend to adore this stuff so it can be a real treat for them. You’ll also want a dry clean towel, a wash cloth, trimming scissors, shaving oil, and some after shave. If you don’t want to face the sting, or the smell of most traditional aftershaves, try using witch hazel or an aloe vera gel instead. Now that you’ve got your tool kit assembled, it’s time start shaving.

Men:

On a man there are several areas you could shave, there’s the face, chest, and even scrotum. Starting with the face is a good way to set a mood for cuddling, comfort, and maybe a bit more later on. Line up your supplies and soak your razor in a glass of cold water. Usually you would use hot water for soaking your blade but when it comes to facial hair it’s good to use cold, as hot makes the blade expand and dull, this is especially true of disposable blades. In the case of a full beard start off with a set clippers or scissors to trim the longer hairs. Sit on a countertop facing your man, legs spread wide so that your knees are pressed to their hips as you trim their longer hairs. This will give you both a great vantage point for shaving and create a closeness and intimacy. Next, wash your lovers face, rub your hands over their cheeks and jawline, working the cleanser in. Use a hot washcloth to wipe all the soap away when you’re done. This is the perfect opportunity for you to trace their lips with your fingertips and steal yourself a sweet kiss. Now apply shaving oil, rub it in your hands and then massage it into your partner’s facial hair. Make eye contact as you do this. Keep eye contact as you brush on the shaving cream or gel. Use swirling motions to spread it across the area you’re going to shave. Pick up the razor and begin shaving. Start on one side and work with small sections, towards the other side of his face. Use short, light, downward strokes moving with the grain. Pull your lovers skin tight and position their face as you go with gentle movements and light teasing. When you’ve finished, rinse your loves face with a wet cloth again, taking care to make sure you got all the lather and stray hairs off. Run your hands across your lover’s face and go over any places you missed until you can rub your face against your mans without pain or discomfort. Rinse your loves face with cold water and pat dry, this will close the pores and keep skin smoother for longer. Using witch hazel, rub it into your love’s face to sooth any cuts and prevent razor burn. Clean all tools with care and rub your face against your love’s again. With this kind of treatment, you can be sure both you and your lover will enjoy the shaving experience.
If you and your lover want to trim off some chest hair or even give it a completely bare look you’ll want to use a blade with pivoting head and multi blades. Start by trimming the hairs short, place a comb flat on his skin and trim over the comb with small scissors. Wash the area with warm water and an exfoliating scrub. Next you’ll want to rub on shaving oil; this will make shaving go smoother and remove much of the risk of cuts or nicks. Apply shaving cream; take this chance to tease your man’s nipples as you spread the lather. Hold their skin taut, and shave against the grain using short strokes and taking care around nipples and collar bones. The more curves you have to deal with, the greater the risk that your partner may be cut during shaving. Rinse the remaining shaving gel and stray hair with warm cloth, pat dry and apply unscented lotion, or apply witch hazel.
Working your way further down your lover’s body you may wish to shave their scrotum or ball sac. Many women, and men, enjoy this look and feel, especially while performing oral, so it’s no wonder this is a popular area to shave. There are two ways in which to do this, with an electric razor, for which you’ll need the area to be completely dry, or with a standard razor blade. If you’re using the standard blade start by sitting on the edge of the tub or a low stool have your partner stand with legs spread wide and gently use a warm washcloth to wipe your loves scrotum. Using a mild soap wash and rinse them with a warm cloth. Be careful not to pinch the sensitive flesh. Soak razor in warm water for a few minutes while you wash. Put a dab of shaving cream in your palms and gently rub it in. Using a standard razor pull the sacs apart and the skin as tight as you can without hurting your man. Use small short strokes to shave each and between them carefully. You will need a lot of light for this. To use an electric razor you’ll need to pat the testicles dry after washing, and then apply baby powder to them. This will help absorb any excess moisture and make them easier to shave without injury. Pull the skin tight again and use a circular motion to remove hair. Rinse your blade frequently to avoid build up. When you’ve finished rinse scrotum with a warm wash cloth and pat dry again. You’ll definitely want to avoid using any aftershave in this area, as the alcohol may irritate the sensitive skin.

Women:

A woman’s body has just as many sexy fun areas to shave as a man’s does. There are legs, naturally, the bikini line, and even the shaving of the armpits can be sexy. To shave your ladies’ legs, crawl into a bath together, and make sure the water’s comfortably warm. You don’t want to be too hot or too cold, as that will cause the skin to dry out and become more susceptible to nicks and cuts. It might be most comfortable to have her sit behind you with her legs stretched over your shoulders. Spread an exfoliating wash in your hands and then rub it down her legs, washing away any dead skin cells. Rinse the exfoliating scrub off and apply your shaving cream. You can use almost any razor for this job so long as it’s sharp. Shave against the grain, moving up the legs for a closer shave. Clean your blade often and use medium length, and give straight strokes. Rinse and repeat on the next leg, rubbing your hands down their lengths when you’re done to check for missed areas, and to feel up your lover. Pat dry and apply a nice moisturizing lotion, and enjoy the feel of her smooth legs.
For many, armpits aren’t highly erotic zones but most would agree that shaving your armpits is preferred. To make armpits hair-free and sexy starts with a shower or bathe to soften the skin and hair. Now ask your lady love to raise her arms and tell her to keep them behind her head, this will help to hold the skin taut. Apply a shaving gel, it doesn’t need to be very thick but will add a good lubrication for shaving. Armpit hair grows in all directions so start by shaving down in vertical lines, then up the same way. Next shave side to side, but try not to go over the same area too many times as this might irritate her skin. Rinse her armpits using a warm wet cloth and take the chance to lightly tickle and tease her. Pat dry and repeat with the other armpit. She’ll need to wait at least half an hour before applying a deodorant as the area is highly sensitive, but now she can put her arms down and around your neck to hold you close.
Shaving the bikini line is a very sensitive subject, and a sensitive area. To make this easier have your lover lay down on her back on a towel after a warm bath or shower, with legs slightly spread. Start by trimming the hairs short, just as with trimming off chest hair. Press a comb flat to her skin and trim the hairs with a pair of small scissors. Now use a gentle exfoliating scrub and warm wet washcloth to cleanse the area. Spread shaving oil over the remaining hair, locking eyes with her as you do. Repeat as you apply shaving cream. For this you’ll want to use a good razor with multiple blades and a pivoting head. Using a disposable razor is unadvisable as they won’t be as sharp and may cause more irritation and cuts than necessary. While shaving, make sure to go with the hair growth and then against, cleaning the blade often. Rinse her with a clean warm wash cloth, cleaning away all the excess hair and shaving cream. Pat dry and moisturize with a light unscented lotion.
Doing these things for your lover will make them feel pampered, special, and help to set the mood. Now you can rub your bare (in more ways than one, right?) skin against one another.

By Posted on Posted in Guides

Today we are going to discuss orgasm denial. What is it? How do you do it? Why do people like it?

Orgasm denial, or erotic sexual denial as it is sometimes called, is a form of sexual play commonly associated with BDSM, but not always. The point of orgasm denial is to have a highly aroused state, yet not have an orgasm for an extended period of time. The basic concept is you can sexually stimulate your partner as much as you want, but they are not allowed to fully reach climax and have an orgasm. There are multiple ways of playing with orgasm denial, all being similar, but slightly different and having a slightly different end goal.

The first thing you need to decide is whether or not an orgasm will actually be allowed during the play period. Some people will deny their partner an orgasm completely, and when the session ends they will not have had an orgasm. Others will deny their partner an orgasm for an extended period of time (for example one hour), but at the end of the session will let their partner have an orgasm. Certain people get “blue balls” including both female and males if they do not have an orgasm after sexual stimulation. These people likely will want to have an orgasm, but others might receive more satisfaction by being completely denied one.

There are various ways you can deny your partner an orgasm. The easiest way to perform orgasm denial on your partner is to physically restrain them. You can put them in any type of bondage, but the best is where they are unable to reach their genitals or any other area they can orgasm from (so if they can orgasm by stimulating their nipples, then do not let them have access to their nipples). You could use leather restraints, you could use neoprene restraints, you could use rope, or you could use metal restraints. You could use any item you normally use for bondage and tie your partner up. You are now in control of your partner and controlling their orgasm is much easier because they cannot cause an orgasm themselves. The one issue with this method is accessing their genitals might be difficult. If you use rope, it can impede your ability to access their genitals. This just requires some ingenuity and thinking of positions that allow you access but doesn’t allow them access. A great example would be a straightjacket. Their genitals are freely accessible, but they have no access to their genitals because their hands are restrained. Another example would be a hogtie where they are placed onto a Hitachi Magic Wand. The wand stimulates them, but their hands are behind their back. This method of restraining your partner is sometimes called the “tie and tease” method.

The second method is called the “tease and denial” method. In this method, there are no restraints. So it is very similar to the first method, but you just remove all the restraints. In this instance you need to have a partner who will refrain from giving themselves an orgasm. This can be fun for some people because they have to consciously choose to listen to their partner. This can definitely reinforce a D/S type of relationship, but more on that later. You stimulate your partner and stimulate your partner and you watch them, and when they get close to an orgasm you can either remove the stimulation completely (example: remove the vibrator) or you can slow down the stimulation (turn down the vibrator) to prevent the orgasm from happening. This requires knowing a partner decently well and watching quite closely.

The third method is the “total denial” method. In this instance you prevent any genital stimulation. So you could place your partner in a chastity belt and then stimulate their nipples, their thighs, or their buttocks, but you do not allow any direct genital stimulation. This is just a variation which can create a different feeling than the above situations. You technically do not need a chastity belt and could just forbid your partner from touching their genitals at all.

So why do people like orgasm denial? There are two main reasons. The first is that some people find it leads to stronger, longer, and more pleasurable orgasms. They find that after extended arousal, it is more intense and more pleasurable when they are finally allowed to have their orgasm. This is similar to people who do not masturbate for long periods of time and then do, often describing it as a more enjoyable, pleasant, and intense orgasm. The second reason is that people enjoy the dominance and submission of it. There is a high amount of control in this scenario. One person gains sexual control of the other and chooses when they can have sexual release. This D/S dynamic itself can be highly erotic and satisfying to many individuals.

Orgasm denial can be performed using anything really. You could have normal sex and stop when your partner comes close to orgasm. You could use toys such as vibrators and dildos. You could have oral sex. You could use your fingers and manual stimulation. Anything can be used for orgasm denial as long as it creates sexual stimulation that can be controlled enough to prevent an orgasm from occurring.

As always if you have any questions feel free to ask them in the comments.

By Posted on Posted in Guides

I think we all can agree that having a long term relationship is a great thing. As the relationship continues on, you gain a close friendship and a great sex partner, possibly for life. Spending a long time with someone can create challenges in the bedroom. Many couples feel that as they spend more time together, their sex lives get a little dull. So recently my partner and I have decided to go sexless for the next 3 months. Join me on my journey of revamping and restarting my sex life.

Part I: How it Started

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and everything has been amazing. He’s been the perfect boyfriend and the best friend I could ask for. Now as far as sex goes, that has been diminishing over the past several months.
When you first get into a relationship and get to the point of having sex, sex is exciting. You get to discover the other person. You get to know them and their body on a more personal level, and I think everyone can agree it takes the relationship to a whole new ball park. But after so many years of sex with the same partner, things can slow down a bit. This is perfectly normal and perfectly okay. Almost everyone I know who has had long term relationships or are even married experience this at some point.
The first and best way to overcome this is experimenting. Now I don’t mean invite other people to your bed or let each other sleep with someone else. I mean try something new. Try having sex in different places, on different surfaces and so on and work your way up to something a little more…experimental. My boyfriend and I have used toys in the bedroom as well as other sexual devices and for a good while that kept us going. A lot of the time we’d get home and couldn’t wait to get in bed together to try out our new toys or just play with the good old ones. But recently we’re feeling stuck in a rut. We still love each other and we still have sex regularly, but the excitement of the toys and new places has decreased. So we decided to try something new.

Part II: The Brilliant Idea

My boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch one night after a romp around the living room. We were just talking about how much we love each other and we started to reminisce on how our relationship was when we first got together. We remember the excitement, the rush, the nerves, and how great it was to finally get each other’s clothes off. (There was A LOT of sexual tension in the beginning!) That’s when the idea came to us…why not try to hold off from sex for a while and rekindle that tension?
We looked at each other with the biggest smiles on our faces and agreed that this was a fantastic idea. Now the question was for how long and what would the conditions be? We ended up deciding on three months, at least to start with. If we could hold out longer we would, but that would be decided on a later date. The other conditions included only masturbating once a day, two or three times a week without the use of sex toys. This way we could keep the sexual hunger up but sated for the time being. We are not allowed to provoke or try to overly arouse one another in any way or masturbation rights are revoked for the week. And of course the biggest thing of all, no sex…period, in any way, shape or form.
We started exactly three weeks ago and so far it’s working out great. It’s hard to sleep in the same bed without being able to rub up on each other or make love when we really feel passionate, but we know that by the time we do have sex everything we’ve been holding back will erupt in one ridiculous, amazing, and beyond fantastic sexual bomb. Everything we had in the beginning will resurface and that to us is so very worth it.

Part III: The reason I Tell You This…

The reason I wanted to share this experience with all of you is because sometimes sex can get repetitive when you’re with a partner and like I said, that’s okay. I look at it as a great way to try to revamp our sex life and discover new and maybe better ways to make love. I hope that my experience will give you ideas on how to experiment with your partner as well as insight on the method that my partner and I are currently trying.
It’s already very difficult to not have sex with each other. My boyfriend and I are highly sexual people and to just go cold turkey is no easy feat, but as I said we know it’ll be well worth it. So if you’re feeling like trying something new with your partner, maybe the best thing is not trying anything at all. You may be pleasantly surprised by where you end up. If you want a little insight on how the experience will be, just keep following my articles. Every few weeks I’ll post up on the progress and let you know how I’m feeling, and how he’s feeling so you can get an idea of how you might feel if you try going sexless.
Keep one thing in mind though, you may love how sex will be by the end of your chastity period. It might just be the greatest sex you’ve ever had.

By Posted on Posted in Guides

Running out of places to hide your toys? You children, roommate, or pet find them no matter where you put them? Don’t fret! Here is a list of possible places to hide your precious toys.

Even those without children understand the importance of a good hiding place for your toys. We have all heard, witnessed, or been involved in those uncomfortable stories of the family pet carrying a hot pink dildo through the living room on a major holiday get together, or the delighted child who found out his parents were “super heroes” with a collection complete with whips, cuffs, and other strange devices. This guide is designed to help you discover creative hiding places around your home, and hopefully inspire you to find some of your own.

While storing your toys in a box under the bed may work for some people, it may not work for all. I once had a visiting child bring his mother one of my husband’s masturbation sleeves. While the child had no idea what he had dug up, his mother and I did. Boy, was that embarrassing! So what alternative options are there for hiding your sexual treasures?

Some nifty boxes adorned with locks, but with my luck I would lose the key. If you are blessed with height you could store your collection in the top of your closet, but that is no help to us short folk. There is of course the option of using a hidey pillow or a teddy bear, but could you imagine your surprise if you ever forgot and your pillow begins violently vibrating in the middle of a peaceful nap?

I personally like to get creative with my hiding places. Even with limited space, multiple roommates, or nosy children there are tons of hiding options in any house; behind the TV or microwave, behind the books on your bookshelf, in an empty shampoo bottle under the sink, to name a few. Why limit your hiding places to just the bedroom when you may get a hankering for pleasure in any room of your house? You will need to use your imagination and hide a toy in every room for those adventurous urges.

Behind the TV is not the only option for your living room hiding place. You could easily stuff a pleasure device between the couch cushions, under the recliner, or in a potted plant! Of course this may just be begging your children to use your lime green ten incher as a sword for their next game of make believe. And do not be limited to behind the microwave for your kitchen, either. Hide one behind that frozen bag of peas you have had in your freezer for two years, or under the stove, just make sure that one is not “meltable.” While you are hiding your toys in the kitchen do not forget which cooking oil you use for lube and which one you actually use for cooking! Ideas for your bathroom might include behind the toilet, in a cardboard toilet paper roll, or under that towel no one ever uses. If you slip one in your tampon box be aware of the possibility of female visitors finding it. Since you are already in the bathroom do not forget to wash your toys before use, unless of course you enjoy the feeling of behind the potty grime in your lady bits.

If you are brave and truly adventurous you may be tempted to try the “hide it in plain sight” approach. You could use ben wa balls as center piece decorations, throw in some potpourri and no one would ever guess that your kegal balls were on your coffee table! Use butt plugs as faux candles, the more unique the design the more stylish family and friends will believe you are- just be sure no one attempts to light them. Dildos could be used as unique art pieces. Vibrators have the potential to be disguised as hand mixers or neck massagers. Get a little more creative with vibrators by taking the batteries out, flipping them upside down and using them to hold silk flowers- voila! a vase. Cock rings could be thrown in with tools and your friends would believe that they were merely washers or what not.

Remember, be creative, and do not limit yourself to just the bedroom! But of course hiding it in plain sight or even in a place that seems like a good hiding place outside of the privacy of your bedroom is just asking for trouble. All things considered, you may be better off just investing in a lock box. And for the sake of your toys, DO NOT LOSE THE KEY!