When it comes to anal play, there’s a lot of information about toys that are fun to use. Unfortunately, there isn’t much about what not to use. Inspired by Ducky Doolittle’s Tantus 2.0 class, I thought this was an important subject to cover and wanted to share some thoughts about safe anal stimulation with you.

Tantus Plugs Many toys look perfect for anal play; however there are many aspects to consider when choosing toys for anal stimulation. Choosing the right toy is important for anal stimulation and can often times be the difference between a fun and erotic experience and a bad one.

One of the most common toys used by beginners is anal beads. Although these are inexpensive and look like fun, they are not the best choice. Anal beads tend to be simply round balls on a string and there can be a few risks involved using them. For instance, the string can come untied, leaving a bead inside of you. Also, after being used, the string can’t be properly cleaned and will harbor bacteria. Also, because anal beads are just that beads which can be a bit painful when inserted and removed. Because they are blunt rather than tapered, they force the sphincter muscles to open suddenly. Often times, this can cause pressure, discomfort or even a slight pain when they are removed.

A much better choice that gives the same sensations as anal beads is the Ripple. Designed by Tantus, it is made from pure silicon and the beads are elliptical. Being made from silicone the Ripple is just like your silicone cookware and can be completely sterilized after you play. Also, the beads are elliptical. This allows the beads to gently open your sphincter muscle and then it closes around the neck between each bead. Because the neck has a bit of girth to it, your muscles don’t clamp down and tight once the bead is in allowing your muscles to stay slightly open and ready for the next bead to be slipped it. With this type of toy, you can choose to insert a couple beads or all of them. They even offer a small and large version of the Ripple for both new and experienced users.

Another mistake that’s often made when choosing a toy for anal play that has a blunt head. Although some may appear to be perfect for prostate massage, toys designed like this can cause a vacuum inside your rectum causing pain or injury when it’s removed. A much better choice is toys that have a tapered head. Not only are they easier to insert, the difference in diameter doesn’t create suction while you’re playing. There are some toys such as the Prostate Health Vibrator, by Tantus, that appears to have a flat head, however there is a slope along the edges that makes it totally safe for anal play. A close inspection of your will reveal whether it’s a true flat surface or not. If you can’t tell from the image you’re looking at online while you shop, Google the toy and search images to get a clear view of the toy you are considering.

When using a toy, be sure that it doesn’t have sharp edges or seams. Some toys have seams that are left behind from manufacturing and are not smoothed down properly. While this doesn’t pose a huge risk when used vaginally, they can damage the thin lining of your rectum by tearing or scratching mucus membrane.

Always make sure that the toy you are using for anal penetration has a flared base. The rectum will suck a toy in while you are playing. Don’t believe me? Slide your finger in and notice how the sphincter draws it into further, the same thing happens with your toy. Toys without a flared base pose the risk of being sucked in all the way making removal next to impossible. A flared base stops at the outer sphincter and acts like a stopper.

Another thing to consider when choosing an anal toy is the material that they are made out of. Some toys are made from PVC, rubber or even jelly. While they may be inexpensive, they pose a few risks. Toys made from material such as these have moving molecules inside of them and the chemicals seep out through the pores. This is why some toys will have a strong odor when you open their box. Many times, people’s sensitive tissue has a chemical reaction to them causing a burning sensation and even chemical burns. I always suggest choosing silicone for all of your anal pleasure. Silicone is non-porous and doesn’t have moving molecules. They have neither smell nor taste, are completely body safe, and bacteria can’t hide and grow in them. Also, silicone is easy to clean up. It can be washed with dawn dish soap, boiled or even placed on the top rack of your dishwasher to be cleaned. However, when washing your toys in the dishwasher, don’t use detergent because it can leave behind a light film causing you to have an adverse reaction. If you adore the texture or feeling of jelly toys, I suggest placing a condom over your toy before using it anally. A condom will protect you from the chemicals and will protect your toy from getting bacteria down into its pores.

Please, never use household items inside of you. In the heat of the moment it may seem like a good idea. However, they are simply not safe. Tubes of tooth paste, shaving cream cans, the handle of a brush, bottles, or anything else you might find lying around truly can harm your body for various reasons. Sharp edges, lack of a proper base, creating suction and other issues can occur.

Hubby and I both want you to be safe while you explore the pleasures of anal stimulation. A trip to the emergency room is something that we deeply desire for you to never have to experience. Choosing toys that are safe is the most important thing you can do to avoid this. Although many toys are marketed for anal play, they’re simply not safe. Please if you ever have a question about a toy, reach out to us or another trusted source to help you decided if it’s safe. There are many sex toy stores online that have a wealth of information to help you make an informed decision and even more sex toy reviewers and educators on Twitter that are always happy to help with any question you may have. Of course, I realize that it may be embarrassing to tweet about sex toys. The DM messaging system is a great way to avoid this or simply search for sex educators online and send them an email through their site’s system. I know that, like me, they’re always happy to help and answer any questions that you may have.

https://www.tryfm.com/sex-toy-for-women/anal-toys

I’ll never forget the first time Hubby and I were intimate. He was amazing, but that’s not what stuck in my memory for years after; it was what he said.

While giving him fellatio, my tongue found its way near his anus, the next thing I knew he was whispering “oh yes, please” and he asked me to put my finger inside of him. I was freaked out, to say the least. I never did as he asked and for years after that night I avoided that area of his body at all costs.

After I began to loosen up sexually I started to realize the value that there is in self sexual exploration. Learning how our bodies react to various types of stimulation is an important part of discovering our sexuality. Looking back on it now, I’m happy that Hubby explored his own body and figured out what he like and how he liked it long before we started our journey into pegging and prostate massage.

That’s right, not only for women, men can also benefit greatly from self exploration and masturbation. It’s common for men to masturbate as young teens and throughout their lives. However that’s not the only area that can be explored. The prostate is a highly erogenous zone that deserves exploring also. All too often, there are perceived stigmas that accompany any type of male anal exploration. It’s unfortunate that with all the scientific information showing the benefits and enjoyment of prostate massage, that anal exploration is still thought of as something only experienced between two men. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Exploring yourself before introducing this type of stimulation to your partner can help to ease these perceptions. Also it has other benefits. Suck as, becoming comfortable with your body and overcoming any awkwardness that you may feel.

Hubby discovered his prostate as a young teen and has enjoyed self stimulation for many years before I opened up to anal play. Here’s his advice to those who are new to male anal sex.

anal sex inage

~Become acquainted with your body~

Hubby suggests taking time to become acquainted with your body in a relaxed environment during a time when you know there won’t be any interruptions. It’s always nice to start off by jumping in the shower or taking a warm bath first. Not only for hygiene purposes, the warm water also helps relax your body. In your private area lock the door and dim the lights to create a relaxed and safe environment; try turning on the radio. Stretch out on the bed and find a comfortable position. Pillows can be help support your body or placed underneath you knees to help make access to your anal area easier.

Once you’re comfortable, take some deep breaths. Deep breathing is an important part of relaxing your mind and body; it even helps relax your anal sphincter. Take your time, there’s no rush. After you’re relaxed, begin by gently massaging your butt. Start off at the top of your cheeks and slowly work your way down. If you have a hand held mirror, try using it to watch your anus during this process. This will help you become familiar with how your body reacts to to the stimulation. You’ll notice your anus relaxing and loosing up as you massage. Stretch your cheeks apart as you massage to help the outer sphincter relax even more. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. The goal is to relax and become acquainted with how your body reacts to being touched.

After you feel comfortable, move on to massaging directly around and on your anus. Take your time and enjoy these sensations. Don’t feel like you have to move quickly. In one session it’s completely acceptable to stop at this point, there’s no rule that says you have to move any further.

*Hint* Try using a bit of lube to help your fingers glide over and around your anus and perineum area.

~Exploring penetration~

When exploring penetration for the first time, it’s always best to start out with your finger. Wearing a glove will make insertion smoother and aid in cleanliness. Another key to ensuring that your experience is enjoyable is using lots of lube. Water based lubricant is usually the best choice and Hubby swears by Liquid Silk.

Warm yourself up by massaging your anus; don’t forget to take deep breaths. Deep breathing truly helps to relax both the external and internal sphincters. When you’re ready, slowly slip in one finger. Notice how your muscles contract both externally and internally. Hubby suggests sitting for a few moments while breathing deep, taking time to relax before moving on. At any time, if your exploration hurts, stop immediately. Nothing about this process should be painful; however, a slight burning sensation is normal.

When you’re comfortable, begin to slowly move your finger in and out. You can experiment with moving your finger around in circles, inserting it deep, or even reaching around to find your p-spot. As you relax, you may want to try slowly inserting another finger. Take your time and help your sphincter muscles relax. Relaxing is a key to having a truly pleasurable experience.

~Using Toys~

As you explore your prostate and anal sex, you may want to try using toys. When choosing a toy, there are a few things to take into consideration. First and foremost, be sure that your toy has a flared base to keep it from slipping up into your rectum. Also, to help your toy stay in while you play, be sure that it has a long tapered neck. Necks that are to short tend to pop out while you play.

The number one toy that I suggest for beginners is the Small Silk by Tantus. Its two finger size and slender slope is ideal for anal virgins. Made from pure silicone, it’s easy to sterilize making it safe for anal play. However it’s not made to stay in by its self while you play.

Butt plugs are designed to say in while you play. They keep the sphincter open and can be very useful as a warming up tool for pegging play latter. Hubby adores his B.S. is Nice Capsule; from ThatPositon. It works great to warm him up, gives him a full feeling during sex and also works well to hit his prostate.

Prostate Massagers are designed to apply stimulation directly to the prostate gland with their curved shaft. The often come as vibrators for added p-spot stimulation. Rocks-Off has Hubby’s favorite; Cheeky-Boy. With a bulberouse shaft and a perineum massage built in along with it’s perfect shape; this toy gets a lot of use at our house.

~Hubby’s Last Thoughts~

Hubby’s #1 piece of advice is to go slow and enjoy yourself. When starting out and warming up, what Hubby enjoys the most is having a finger or small toy sitting shallow inside of him as he does kegeal grips; the tightening sensation around something is highly stimulating.

Use lots of lube. There is never such a thing as too much lube. Massaging around your anus, paying close attention to the lower area of your anal rim, will help to relax your external sphincter and reduce the stretching feeling.

Choose the right position for you. Some positions feel better than others; Hubby suggests trying with one leg propped up on a pillow or rolled over on your left side. There is no wrong or right position. Trying different angles can make things a lot more pleasurable.

There shouldn’t be any stigma associated with exploring your prostate or anal sex. Lots of women enjoy anal sex, why shouldn’t men too. Their bodies are wired the same. Very similar to the female G-spot the prostate and anus are highly erogenous zones. Filled with nerves, stimulation is not only enjoyable it can produce an orgasm unlike anything you’ve experience before. It’s true, I promise.

Exploring your body alone or with your lover, it’s common to feel nervous the first few times. Creating the proper environment and starting out with other types of stimulation will help you relax and go with the flow of the enjoyment. If you’re experimenting with a partner, anal rimming during oral sex is always a great way to warm things up.

Hubby and I both wish you the best of luck on your journey. We hope that you will take time to explore your body and become comfortable with your sexuality. Most of all, enjoy yourself. Remember there is no wrong or right way to enjoy any type of kinky pleasure.

Illustrated guide for douching your rectum, how to properly get an enema in your own shower. Get your ass clean for fucking, fisting, dildoes, rimming, anal play.

An illustrated guide on how to properly clean your ass to avoid accidents during anal sex. Perfect to share with bottoms, and also with tops who want to educate others. Not only for guys or gays, everyone should try this!